Chapter 80
"Are you really going to keep smoking that while walking into the church?"
When Theo spoke up while we were walking, I wondered what he meant. It turned out to be something duller than expected.
"Why? It’s not like God ever said tobacco is a sin."
"No, I just think if you walk in there like that, Isabel might hit you with a spell."
"Ah."
"Walking in with a bunch of weapons hidden on you and smoking a cigar doesn’t exactly scream ‘I’m here to apologize.’
She might think you came to drag out more demons."
I cut off the end of the cigar with a knife, pressed the still-burning tip against the back of my hand to extinguish it, and slipped it into my pocket.
"What do you expect me to do when I can barely breathe without a blade at my side?"
I walked into the church naturally, without even knocking.
The class would end soon, and if we were waiting for Isabel, it might be about 30 minutes.
The only people inside were a few young girls halfheartedly sweeping the floor.
I looked around, then sat wherever.
"I’ve never liked the atmosphere in places like this."
"Why? It’s calm. Even if you’re not devout, it feels kind of reverent."
"I once ate my own severed finger here.
When the priest made it regrow, I ate it again.
Sometimes we even had little intestine parties."
"……."
"But it did keep me alive until now.
For both me and you, this place should be one we hate."
If they’d killed me back then, none of this would have happened.
Of course, the demons would still have killed people, but at least not all of them would have died.
"That was just that one priest…."
"I know. They’re not all like that.
I can admit it now."
Just as not all demons were wicked, cannibalistic monsters, not all priests or church folks were the same.
That much was obvious.
Not everyone could be evil.
I knew that, but I hadn’t wanted to accept it.
Even if it meant being tortured to death.
After dying dozens of times, though, some of that stubbornness had worn away.
The best solution was definitely to put a hole in the head.
Though there were a lot of problems with doing that now.
While I was thinking about all this and chatting with Theo, a girl in a nun’s habit approached us, having finished cleaning.
At first, she stared at Theo, practically drooling over his face, but then she asked what we needed.
"What brings you here?"
"I’m just waiting for a friend—well, a person. Isabel."
I wasn’t sure if she was really a friend.
For all I knew, I was more like an enemy to Isabel.
"Oh, Sister Isabel should be back soon!
But, um, I don’t think anyone said they’d be visiting. Can I get your name?"
I turned to the girl and told her my name.
"You… you’re…."
The girl dropped her broom.
I stood, bent down, and picked it up for her.
She stared at my face for a long time, let out a small scream, and then ran off somewhere.
She didn’t even take the broom.
"Maybe I should have worn a mask."
"Then they’d have kicked you out."
"And here I thought I’d put out my cigar for nothing since Isabel isn’t even here."
"…She’ll be here soon."
"Alright."
After a while, people did show up.
I was a bit disappointed it wasn’t Isabel.
And it wasn’t just one person—there were several.
They held brooms and tools, even a scythe that looked like it was meant for tending the garden next to the church.
A girl who seemed a couple of years younger than Isabel, but still the oldest among them, stepped forward to speak to me.
Her hand pointed accusingly at me, but it trembled violently. Her expression was filled with fear.
"W-what are you planning to do this time?! Get out!"
This was a bit of a problem.
Theo looked at me with a tired expression, rubbed his face, and muttered quietly enough for only me to hear.
"What the hell did you do here for them to act like this?"
"I dragged out the demons hiding inside and probably roughed up a half-demon nun a bit."
"A bit?"
"…Relatively speaking, a bit."
"Yeah, you should’ve been kicked out."
I almost said, "At least I didn’t kill her," but I shut my mouth.
That wasn’t something a truly remorseful person would say.
It might be too much to ask for real repentance from me.
All I felt was mild regret, not the deep, lingering guilt that one might expect.
I’d never share these inner thoughts with anyone.
Going forward, I had to atone, to live a bit more decently, as a somewhat better person.
Why? Because Theo said so…?
The thought that maybe I had just shifted my dependency onto Theo crossed my mind, but I intentionally pushed it aside.
I spoke gently to the trembling young nun.
"I told you, I’m here to see Isabel."
"Y-you’re here to kill my sister, aren’t you? Just like when you took away those patients and children!"
"I just want to talk. See? I’m not holding anything."
If she swung that cute little blade she was holding, it might make my skin a bit ragged, but it probably wouldn’t hurt too much.
She seemed so delicate. If I ended up covered in blood, the feeling of slicing through skin might shock her into running away.
The girl, driven by emotion, seemed to decide to believe me when I said I was only here to talk rather than attack me.
At least, she hadn’t swung the weapon at me, so that must have been the case.
"…If Frau or Seria see you, they might have a fit and pass out.
I’ll tell Sister Isabel, so please, just leave."
Those must be the nuns who got beaten up by my subordinates.
I glanced at Theo, and he nodded.
If not here at the church, where else could I talk to her?
Wherever it was, it wasn’t likely to be a pleasant conversation.
I agreed and stood up.
Feeling slightly stuffy, I took out the cigar I had cut earlier and bit down on it. I wanted to light it, but I realized I’d used up all my scrolls.
Under a tree next to the church, I asked Theo to light it for me. He produced a small flame at his fingertip.
"They’re pretty brave."
"What is?"
"They must have been scared, but they still stood up to an evil villain."
"…I guess."
"If I were to make a small excuse, I treated them relatively gently.
Even when they charged at me, I just kicked them away—I didn’t kill them."
I couldn’t help but find it a bit absurd even as I said it, but it was the truth.
"…You should cut down on that kind of bullshit. It’d make your life better."
"I agree."
"By the way, where did all your subordinates go?"
"I don’t know. I gave them enough money to live comfortably forever, as long as they didn’t get too extravagant, and let them go."
I knew, but I kept my mouth shut so I wouldn’t end up hunting them down.
Marco was probably still gambling in the back alleys, throwing away any money he could get his hands on.
The old butler was likely living a peaceful retirement with his wife, occasionally grabbing his rifle and going on a little hunting trip if some punk kids showed up.
That old man had too fiery a personality.
The cigar smoke had a sweet note to it today.
When I brought it closer to smell, I caught a mix of fruity and chocolatey scents.
"Is this really your taste? You’re not a kid, you know."
"…I spent my own money on it, so just shut up and smoke it."
Right, last time I’d been smoking his.
But fruit-flavored?
I could tolerate chocolate, but fruit was a bit much.
It smelled too much like dried fruit, especially raisins.
"Next time, something with a hint of oak—hmm?"
As I thought that, I took another drag of the cigar, and suddenly, my wrist went flying into the air.
I quickly drew my gun with my right hand, checked where the spell had come from, and then put it back in its holster.
"…What the hell are you thinking, coming back here?
And with Theo, who hasn’t been seen in ages!
Did you think I’d just let it happen like last time?"
"Don’t worry about me."
"How can I not worry? You disappear for ages and then show up with this crazy woman out of nowhere?!"
"Ellen’s the one who said she wanted to talk."
I didn’t want to dirty the clothes Ethel had given me, so I let the blood just drip to the ground.
The rate it was flowing didn’t look good, but if it got too bad, Theo would do something about it.
"Look, I get that you’re angry, but I’m feeling a bit dizzy.
Can I pick up my wrist and reattach it?"
Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.
Isabel’s face twisted in anger, and she shot another spell at me.
Thankfully, it didn’t cut anything off this time. It just felt like getting hit by a passing carriage.
I crashed into a tree, but I wouldn’t die.
Isabel approached me, but instead of kicking me, she set her foot against the tree.
I could see her underwear, but it didn’t seem like the right time to mention it.
"Talk?"
"…Yes."
"When I asked to talk last time, what did you say?"
I couldn’t remember.
By the time I had gone to see Isabel, I wasn’t really acting on my own will—just moving forward by sheer inertia.
Whatever I said, it would just sound like an excuse.
So I kept my mouth shut.
Like Theo said, whenever I opened my mouth, it was only bullshit anyway.
"Talking is only possible when you’re able to kill the other person with a flick of your finger, you said."
For a moment, I thought this might be the end, so I looked at Theo.
He had just been sitting there earlier, but now he was gripping his sword handle with a tense expression, smoke curling from his cigar.
"Alright, what did you want to say?"
"…I came to apologize."
"……?"
I was being sincere.