Chapter 79
After the meal, the Count led me to the guest room.
Instead of asking a servant, he instructed Ethel to bring the tea herself.
Ethel sat in an armchair next to the Count, and as he sipped the tea she had prepared, he spoke quietly.
"So, I’m not quite sure what made you decide to offer this so-called apology."
The Count took a small sip of his tea, a faintly bitter smile on his lips.
"Or perhaps you’re simply uncomfortable that a lowly country bumpkin like me dares not to use honorifics?"
"It’s not that. I was just thinking of how to respond."
"Back then, you stormed in during a meal with a mage and armed men. What was it you said?"
"…I told you to bring out all the demons you were hiding."
"I still don’t know how you figured out that we were gathering to prepare for hiding. Because of you, they were all dragged out or killed."
"I’m sorry."
"And back then, you spoke casually, almost cheerfully, with a sense of arrogance."
"I’m sorry."
"Is ‘sorry’ all you have?"
The Count’s hand trembled, and he threw the teacup at me, hot tea splashing over me.
It was still quite hot, enough to sting. Glass shards scattered across the room.
At most, it left a few scratches. The tea had cooled enough that the burns were only mild.
"Right, I suppose it doesn’t matter how much I get hurt.
Julius is a man, so as long as he didn’t die, there’s nothing to worry about."
I picked out the shards from my skin. They hadn’t pierced deeply—just stuck to the surface.
Ethel, sitting next to us, started to panic, but now wasn’t the time for her to step in.
I had come to Ethel fully prepared to die. A small stab wound wouldn’t be a big deal.
"…That day, you called everyone working the fields demons and tried to kill them all.
If the king had ordered us to kill all demons, I would have tried to save who I could.
For my daughter’s sake, I might have let some go."
"Tell me, why did you do that to my daughter?
You didn’t need to shoot her. The men you brought could have just restrained her!"
Because she stood in my way.
I needed to kill the horned girl behind her, but Ethel was blocking me.
To kill an innocent, ordinary girl, I had to create a narrative in my mind.
Maybe, one day, she could give birth to a demon like the one that killed Alicia—an absurd justification, but one that allowed me to act.
Without that flimsy excuse, my actions would have faltered and crumbled.
But I couldn’t say that out loud.
If I were here to intimidate them into agreeing with me, I’d have simply pointed my gun and had a quick conversation. But that wasn’t what I was here for.
In the end, there was only one thing I could say.
"…I’m sorry."
When I used to fake tears to seem pitiful or get out of a situation, I was good at it. But not now.
I cleared my mind of unnecessary thoughts, faced my own emotions honestly, and all that showed on my face was a blank, expressionless look.
There was no sadness, no anger.
Maybe not even remorse.
"And yet, my daughter still clings to you, Duke Speyer."
That was Julian, though...
He was dead. I didn’t need to see a hallucination of Julian, his eyes wide open and his tongue hanging out as he dangled from a rope, to know that.
My brain was far too helpful.
If I ever forgot something, it would quickly throw a vivid hallucination at me.
Right. I was the Duke.
No wonder they were being careful.
Throwing a cup of hot tea was probably the safest option.
If my mood soured, they couldn’t know what kind of retaliation might come later.
"I’d love to just tell you to stay away, but there’s only one thing I can really ask.
Please, never do anything like that again. And especially not to Ethel."
What was I supposed to say?
I won’t do it again?
I’m sorry for doing it, and I promise it won’t happen again?
Countless responses flashed through my mind, but in the end, I just nodded.
The Count left the room, his face full of anger.
"…Ellen, are you okay?"
Ethel approached me and began wiping the blood from my arm.
It seemed Theo had decided to let things play out as long as I didn’t get hurt too badly.
Hadn’t he said he didn’t hate me, just found me annoying?
I let out a small laugh.
"Why do you treat me so well?"
"B-because we’re friends…."
"Friends don’t usually go this far.
We’re not even that close.
Honestly, if anyone here could be called my friend, it’d probably be Theo."
The word "friend" was deceptively simple yet incredibly complex.
Ethel and I were friends. Theo and I were friends too.
But before I engaged in a special and intense conversation with demons, if they looked around my age, I’d often call them friends.
There weren’t many other words to describe them.
There were so many kinds of friends in this world.
So, what kind of friendship did I have with Ethel?
The Count had just asked me not to do anything cruel to Ethel.
But this wasn’t cruel.
It couldn’t be. It was just a little bit of clarity—an action to help us have a conversation.
I sat down, held Ethel’s arm, and hugged her.
She crouched down in front of me in an awkward position, but she hugged me back.
I deliberately ignored the faint scent of skin rising from her neck, bringing my lips close to the hair behind her ear.
And I whispered, softly, with a chill-inducing tone.
"Maybe if I grow up like this, I’ll end up marrying Theo.
I mean, he bathes with me without a care, whether I’m naked or not.
Since we’re friends, Ethel, you don’t mind, do you?"
"I know you like Theo and me, but I thought I should say it anyway."
As I spoke, my breath brushed Ethel’s ear, and she shivered.
Maybe it was because of what I said. Maybe she felt something.
I slowly pulled away from our hug, a small smile lingering on my lips.
"About everything that’s happened until now—I'm sorry. I’ll be going now.
I won’t come back. I know your parents and your brother wouldn’t like it.
But you’re always welcome to visit me."
I stood up.
And I calmly walked out of Ethel’s mansion.
I bid farewell to Julius again before I left, then crossed the gate and found myself on a quiet street. Only then did my steps start to falter.
I staggered, and just as I thought I might collapse, Theo steadied me.
"You didn’t do anything when I had glass shards in me earlier, so why help me now?"
"You deserved that."
He wasn’t wrong.
And it was hard to argue against it.
"Stop saying the right things."
Theo held my wrist and guided me to a nearby bench.
There were apple trees all around. They weren’t bearing fruit, though.
Still, why was there a bench here...? Oh, right.
This was Mr. Hanton’s farm.
I didn’t want to remember, but I suddenly saw a vision of the little demon charging at me with a fork, shouting that they’d kill me.
"Why did you tell Ethel we’d get married?"
"Don’t you want that?"
"Want what?"
"A decent name and power to throw around at anyone, and I’ve saved up quite a bit while killing demons.
You’d have more money than you could spend, even living lavishly for a lifetime.
Even if you hated me, you could still surround yourself with ten pretty prostitutes every day."
"…I don’t want that."
"Anyway, let’s say I don’t die and manage to live somewhat normally.
Have you thought about what you’ll do then?"
I didn’t really care, as long as I had a cigar, some good coffee, and plenty of books. But who knew what Theo wanted?
Life always needed a bit of joy, whether it was good or bad.
Maybe gambling would be fun too.
If I could waste away the wealth and status my parents worked so hard to build through petty games, wouldn’t that be a fantastic comedy?
Life was so bleak; it made me crave something enjoyable.
"It’s a bit weird for a grown man and woman to be stuck together all day, isn’t it?"
Theo ignored my smirk and stated his goal.
"I’m going to graduate from the academy."
"Is that it?"
So he was planning to drag me along no matter what.
Theo shrugged.
"Why not? In novels, comics, and games, people always seem to get derailed halfway through.
Graduating properly and living somewhere quiet, not in a bustling city, doesn’t sound so bad."
"I’d prefer not to be there.
I like the city. Where people are everywhere, where I can feel life, and where all sorts of emotions fill the air."
Because they were things I didn’t have.
"Then I guess we’ll keep living here."
"You know Ethel, Isabel, and Diana all like you, right?"
"I know."
"Don’t I seem pretty normal by now?
I don’t think I’m going to die, so maybe it’s time for you to hang out with those friends instead.
Staying with me must be boring and awful."
Theo shook his head.
"I’m not ready to like or love someone—not right now, at least.
…And it’s not that I hate you. I just find you annoying."
I didn’t feel like answering, so I stayed quiet. After a while, I changed the subject.
"Let’s go see Isabel next."
"Okay."