Chapter 188. Welcome, It’s Your First Time Debuting, Right? (5)
Seo Taeil leisurely pushed his chair back, stretching out his long legs. Leaning all the way back, he rested one hand on the armrest and propped his chin up with the other, his posture and expression exuding arrogance as he looked down on Lee Doha with all his might.
“Have you ever been ranked number one on a music show? How about number one on the music charts? Have you ever held a four-hour concert with a setlist filled to the brim with only your songs? What about hearing tens of thousands of people sing along to the lyrics and melodies you wrote? Have you ever received hundreds of requests to write songs, regardless of genre, from trot to rock ballads?”
“……”
“I have.”
Seo Taeil tapped the armrest with his free hand, breaking the tension.
“If someone like me were on the same level as you, wouldn’t that be incredibly insulting to my pride?”
If he was going to scold him, couldn’t he at least stop smiling?
Even as he trampled on the pride of others, Seo Taeil continued to smile warmly and gently. I was incredibly curious about what kind of expression Lee Doha was making right now, but I was too scared to check.
‘I should just shut up and count the patterns on the floor….’
While I bowed my head, examining every detail of the floor in Seo Taeil’s studio down to the nanometer, Seo Taeil continued to berate Lee Doha.
“I understand your desire to contribute to the team with confidence. As a producer, that’s a genuinely admirable ambition. I even listened to the song you made this time.”
“……”
“Hmm… But that only makes it harder for me to understand.”
Seo Taeil tilted his head from side to side as if he truly couldn’t comprehend.
“You’ve acknowledged your shortcomings and recognized how great I am. So the next step should be, ‘Wow. I need to absorb as much knowledge from this guy as I can and make it my own!’ instead of falling into despair and hopelessness, right? It’s not like you’re going to stop promoting after this album.”
“…Ah.”
It seemed like Doha had finally realized something. Seo Taeil patted him on the shoulder, letting out a small sigh.
“In my time, there was no one to write songs for us if it wasn’t me, so I had no choice but to do it. But that’s not the case for you guys. Doha, aren’t you an idol? Are you a composer? Did you sign up as a producer here?”
“…No, I didn’t.”
“Then think carefully. Kairos’s debut song is also your debut song. I wrote your debut song, and I’m your role model. Do you think it’s okay to come prepared with rap like this?”
“No, it’s not.”
Did the mood suddenly turn into kindergarten? No, maybe the military?
Even in the midst of this chaotic atmosphere, I could feel Doha’s mental state slowly rebuilding itself.
His responses were quicker, his tone more decisive, and his eyes a bit sharper. A quick glance showed that he had straightened his shoulders and stood upright, just like his usual self.
‘I honestly have no idea what’s helping him at this point, but…’
Well, as long as it works for him, that’s all that matters, right?
Noticing Doha’s change, Seo Taeil dangled a carrot at just the right moment.
“If you truly want to be helpful to the team, do what you can right now.”
“If it’s something I can do…”
“Aren’t you a rapper? Then you should focus on rapping. You should work harder and do it better than anyone else. After all, it’s something only you can do for your team.”
If I were to kindly rephrase it, his words were essentially telling him to know his place as a rookie and work hard at what he’s supposed to be doing, right?
To my 51% F personality, it sounded like a harsh reprimand, but to the 100% T personality that Doha had, it seemed to be the most clear-cut solution in the world.
Doha, who had been struggling to find clarity, finally bowed his head toward Seo Taeil.
“Thank you, sunbae. …You’ve been a big help.”
“We’ll see if it really helped when you come to the next recording session, right? I’m looking forward to it.”
“Yes. I’ll prepare properly this time.”
The certainty Doha had been seeking finally revealed itself again.
At the same time, Jung Siwoo and I exchanged glances and let out a sigh of relief. Seo Taeil, noticing our reactions, turned his chair back toward us with a grin.
“I’m usually really strict about this kind of thing… but I’m letting it slide today for the sake of your teammates, so don’t disappoint me next time. You came running to me as soon as your confidence was shaken.”
“Uh, why are we suddenly being blamed for this…?”
“Doha, think carefully about what ‘making music together’ really means. There must be more you can do right now, don’t you think? This is your homework.”
“Yes. …Thank you, sunbae.”
Honestly. The security in this consultation room is so lax.
I tried to protest with a look of injustice, as if I had suddenly become the person who ran to the teacher’s office to tattle that one of our members had lost his confidence. But Seo Taeil didn’t care and even gave Doha homework.
Doha, receiving his grave mission, stood up from his seat with a serious expression and bowed deeply to Seo Taeil. Since it felt awkward for only Jung Siwoo and me to remain seated, we also stood up clumsily and added our thanks.
“Okay. The consultation is over. Now hurry up and go practice. Our youngest member is due to arrive soon, so I need to prepare.”
“Yes. Thank you for your advice!”
“Alright, see you at the next recording session.”
As soon as we were done, Seo Taeil mercilessly kicked us out of his studio. The three of us were left standing in the middle of the pristine hallway, and Jung Siwoo and I couldn’t help but gauge Doha’s reaction.
‘What should we do now?’
‘I have no idea.’
Even though we hadn’t done anything wrong, we felt guilty as if we had. It seemed like he got scolded because of us. I wasn’t sure how Doha, with his clear T personality, felt, but as a person who is 51% F, I couldn’t help but worry.
“Shall we go?”
“Oh? Yeah, sure.”
Whether he knew how I felt or not, Doha started walking ahead as if nothing had happened.
Jung Siwoo and I hurriedly followed him, trying to figure out what he was thinking.
“……”
The walk to the practice room was silent.
Doha, who wasn’t one to speak unless necessary, seemed to be lost in thought, and Jung Siwoo and I were too busy trying to read his mood.
‘Screw it, I don’t care anymore.’
In the end, it was me who took the lead in ending this suffocating atmosphere (which Doha probably wasn’t even aware of).
I don’t know about Jung Siwoo, but I despised this kind of silence and stillness. They say the thirsty dig the well.
“Hey, Doha.”
“……”
“Doha!”
“…Ah. Sorry. What?”
Doha responded a beat late, turning to look at me. I carefully examined his expression, wondering what to ask.
After some thought, I finally came up with a question.
“Are you okay?”
Doha was silent for a moment, but then he nodded confidently.
“Yeah. I’m okay.”
Ah, that’s a relief.
Satisfied with his answer, I turned to Jung Siwoo, who had been trailing slightly behind us. He, too, smiled with relief, just like I did.
‘The bear is back.’
It seemed like the bear, whose mental state had wandered off, had finally returned home.
* * *
After that day.
To fulfill his ‘role,’ as Seo Taeil had said, Doha poured even more effort into his practice.
Choreography, rap, gestures, and even studying languages.
As a member of the idol group ‘Kairos,’ Doha worked even harder to master everything he needed to accomplish.
Even during this time, the diligent Doha couldn’t shake off the homework Seo Taeil had given him.
‘What can I do right now for “making music together”?’
Determined to fulfill his mission as the main rapper of Kairos, Doha focused intensely on honing his rap skills more than anyone else.
Sometimes, he would even risk bothering Seo Taeil to ask for help, or he would study by watching videos of famous foreign rappers. He also didn’t stop exploring different variations to expand his skills.
But even with all that effort, something still felt lacking.
‘I doubt he meant I should just become good at rapping.’
Tonight, after finishing another late-night practice session in the personal practice room, Doha once again pondered over Taeil’s assignment.
“……?”
As his thoughts deepened, his steps slowed, and as his steps slowed, his field of vision expanded. What he would normally pass by without noticing seemed to catch his eye more vividly today.
Doha’s gaze fell on the choreography practice room on one side of the hallway. It was the place Kairos had been using exclusively lately.
Since everyone had left, the lights should have been off, but for some reason, the lights were still on, and he could faintly hear music playing.
‘Is it Jaeyoung or Taehee?’
Thinking that it might be one of the trainees who recently started coming in again, Doha turned back toward the practice room instead of heading down the stairs.
Usually, it
wouldn’t matter who used the practice room, but lately, it had been reserved exclusively for Kairos, so there were a lot of personal belongings and sensitive files for their new song inside.
If it was indeed a trainee, Doha thought he should give a brief warning and cautiously opened the door to the practice room.
“…Ah.”
But when he opened the door, the song playing was none other than their debut song.
And the person practicing inside wasn’t a trainee but a member of Kairos.
Slightly surprised by the unexpected face, Doha unconsciously called out his name.
“Yugeon?”
“Oh, what the—”
Yugeon, who had been practicing intently, flinched and turned toward the doorway where Doha was standing. Doha slowly grasped the situation, a look of confusion on his face.
‘Yugeon said he was going straight home after our choreography session earlier…’
Why was Yugeon, who claimed he would pass out as soon as he got home, still at the practice room at this hour?
As Doha surveyed the practice room, he noticed the speakers playing the MR of their debut song and Yugeon holding a wired microphone in one hand and a lyrics sheet in the other. Doha let out a small sigh.
“Sorry. Were you practicing? Did I interrupt?”
“…No. I was stuck anyway. You can come in if you want.”
With Yugeon’s permission, Doha switched into practice room slippers and stepped inside. Yugeon watched him enter before slumping into a seat, leaning his head against the mirror behind him. Doha approached, settling down at a respectful distance.
Doha asked Yugeon, “Were you practicing your part?”
“…Yeah. But it’s not going well at all. The rhymes or whatever that hyung taught me—I think I’ve forgotten them all.”
Yugeon’s lyrics sheet was filled with notes, evidence of his efforts to analyze and study.
Yugeon was a natural when it came to dance, often outshining his fellow members with his instinctive sense and talent. But when it came to vocals and rap, his lack of practice was evident, and he needed much more training.
Especially after taking on the rap part seriously following the third round of Miro Maze, he seemed to struggle even more with this unfamiliar role.
“At least I can sing with the right pitch and rhythm…”
Seeing Yugeon like this, Doha finally understood.
What he could do right now to contribute to ‘making music together.’
“Should I help you?”
“You, hyung?”
“Yeah. I’ve been practicing rap again lately.”
In Doha’s eyes, Yugeon had potential.
With a bit more learning, he thought Yugeon could soon start writing his own lyrics and making beats, eventually taking an interest in creating music.
And when that time came, Kairos would be able to ‘make more music together.’
Doha returned the words that had recently given him the most strength to Yugeon.
“Practicing together is easier than doing it alone. And more fun.”
After all, we’re on the same team.
With a slightly awkward smile, hiding the words he couldn’t yet say, Doha cautiously reached out his hand toward Yugeon.
After a moment of hesitation, Yugeon handed his lyrics sheet over to Doha.
“…I’m not sure about the pronunciation and rhythm here.”
“Ah. I figured this part would be tough. I struggled with it too after a few tries.”
“Really? …I thought it was just because I’m such a newbie.”
“Well, that’s true too.”
“You really don’t hold back, do you?”
The practice room, once filled with sighs and frustration, slowly began to brighten with small laughs and shared joy.
It had only taken a few steps out of his tiny, solitary workspace, but with that small step, Doha’s music was no longer lonely.
“Let’s keep practicing together from now on. …We’re on the same team now.”
And with that, he felt he had taken a satisfying first step.