Chapter 106
I am an idiot.
I am a fool.
I am a moron.
As I woke up, I stared at the ceiling of my quarters, drowning in self-loathing.
The events of last night came rushing back. I had been attacked by an armed helicopter at Carthica Tower. Somehow, I managed to take it down. Ilay killed his competitor and cousin, Garcia.
And then, Giselle and I...
The moment we parted flashed in my mind.
'What the hell have you done?'
'Do you actually have a death wish?'
Conflicting voices clashed in my head. I had done something I shouldn't have. A desire I had suppressed over and over again had finally erupted.
'I’ve done something I can’t take back.'
I had introduced an unnecessary risk.
"Goddamn it."
My ability to control my emotions must have weakened after the grueling battle. Ilay’s pointless words had shaken me as well.
No, that was just an excuse.
I knew better, and yet I hadn't stopped myself. I had lost to my own longing. This was bound to happen sooner or later.
I should have kept my distance from Giselle. I should have minimized the chances of even running into her.
The fact that I hadn’t... meant that I had wanted to see her, too.
Even now, I was itching to go find her. I wanted to confirm that what happened last night hadn’t just been a dream.
"You stupid bastard."
I buried my face in my hands and let out a sigh. My emotions, once unleashed, took complete control over me. I couldn't suppress them.
'This isn’t the time for this.'
Amidst my turmoil, I noticed a summons from Commander of the Imperial Guard, Hemillas. He had ordered me to report to his office this afternoon.
It was probably regarding the attack.
Since information about Iskan and me had leaked, there was a chance of additional attacks. The fact that they had made such a bold move—taking out another noble in the process—meant they weren’t ordinary enemies.
'Get a grip, Luka.'
I ran a hand through my hair and stared into the mirror.
'If you want to protect your current life and Giselle, you need to become a monster. A monster that can devour anyone who stands in your way.'
Whether that was Hemillas or Kinuan.
It was time to steel myself.
Remember who you used to be. I had changed so much. I had things I cherished now. Things I couldn't afford to lose.
If I lost the people and things I loved... I might crumble beyond repair.
If I didn’t want that to happen, I needed to become strong again—like the old me, who had nothing to lose. I had to return to being ruthless and unyielding.
Sharpen my mind like a blade. Hone my will to a razor's edge.
I needed to build my physical strength and have people who could support me. The problems and events of the real world weren’t things that could be solved with sheer willpower alone.
‘Is this what impurity feels like…?’
A bitter smile escaped me.
My circumstances had become even more complicated, but my path forward had never been clearer. And right now, more than ever, I wanted to become stronger.
The raging passion inside me was pushing out the darkness.
* * *
In the office, Hemillas and Iskan were waiting. It seemed they had been discussing something before I arrived.
I gave them my verbal report on last night’s events.
"…Only Ilay Carthica knows that the armed helicopter was targeting me. Everyone else will believe it was the work of terrorists."
"You handled things well under such pressing circumstances. This was entirely my mistake. I owe you an apology."
It was rare for Hemillas to say something like that. It showed just how unexpected this incident had been for him.
I had almost died, after all. If my skills had been average for a cadet, I would already be lying in a coffin.
"Have you found out who ordered the attack?"
A regular cadet wouldn’t have dared to ask such an audacious question. But I had every right to.
"Our investigation has narrowed the suspects down to less than ten."
"But you’re not certain yet."
"It will take time."
I thought for a moment before speaking.
"Give me the list of suspects. I’ll investigate."
Hemillas' eyes widened. Iskan also looked at me with a questioning expression.
"You?"
"I can do it with Kinuan’s help. For whatever reason, he seems to like me. And he knows more about the underground world than we do. If we use his information network, we might be able to find traces of the culprit. Having a list of suspects would make it even easier."
It was rare for me to mention Kinuan outright. He was a dangerous man.
The more I flaunted my ties with Kinuan, the more people would suspect that I was just as dangerous. Hemillas might even stop trusting me.
"You’re more deeply entangled with Kinuan than I expected."
Hemillas’ words carried many layers of meaning. But he had no idea that Kinuan was the Emperor’s personal overseer.
"If I weren’t, I’d be dead by now."
"Whatever the case… just remember Rick Silva Núñez. Rick was once a loyal Imperial Guard. So much so that the higher-ups even assigned him to an undercover mission."
"I’m the one who killed Rick. I’m not some fool lost in delusions, throwing away my future over ambition."
Hemillas finished deliberating, tapping his fingers on the desk before summoning a holographic display. A list of suspects compiled from the Imperial Guard’s investigation appeared before me.
I memorized their names and faces in an instant. Before five seconds had passed, the hologram vanished.
"If you need support, let me know."
I exited Hemillas’ office. Iskan also stood up and walked out with me.
As we walked down the corridor, Iskan was the first to speak. His dark crimson uniform swayed elegantly with his movements.
"I’m sorry, Luka."
"What do you mean?"
"My judgment complicated things. The rational course of action would have been to extract only Bao Zakanan."
Iskan had slaughtered all the clients in the torture facility. That was the reason we had been attacked. But I neither resented his decision nor thought it was wrong.
"If I were in a higher position… I would have made the same call."
"No, you wouldn’t have. You would have made a better decision. I let my emotions get the better of me."
I wasn’t sure about that. Especially after thinking about what I had done last night.
"But I believe killing them was in the Empire’s best interest. I don’t know if it was the best choice, but at the very least, it wasn’t the worst one."
My voice was filled with conviction. Because I truly believed it.
"…You’ll make a fine Imperial Guard."
I could sense Iskan’s sincerity. But at the same time, a question formed in my mind.
"I appreciate the compliment, but I’m not sure what it really means to be a ‘good’ Imperial Guard."
"Someone who doesn’t lose themselves."
Iskan defined it in a single sentence. It was the kind of statement that could only come from someone with an unwavering sense of values.
"I hope to be that kind of person, too."
I agreed with his words.
* * *
I contacted Kinuan. However, even after a long wait, there was no reply.
Normally, I would have waited for him to reach out first. But today, I was in a hurry. The sooner I handled things, the better.
And I believed my relationship with Kinuan was strong enough that I could visit him unannounced.
Knock, knock.
I stood in front of Kinuan’s office. There was no response from inside, but when I checked, the door wasn’t locked.
Ssshhhk.
As I opened the door and looked inside, my eyes widened.
"Shi—"
I immediately shut my mouth. Then, cautiously, I leaned my head out to check the hallway. Fortunately, no one was outside.
‘Kinuan is collapsed on the floor.’
This wasn’t an attack. If it were, I would have noticed immediately.
Kinuan’s office was neatly organized. He had collapsed right in front of the door, as if he had been trying to lock it but failed.
‘He’s not dead.’
I checked his condition. He was still alive. The systems in his fully cybernetic body were functioning normally.
‘It’s his brain.’
It was the same neurological issue that plagued him—a side effect of Akies Victima.
"Instructor, excuse me."
I lifted Kinuan onto my shoulder and carried him to the sofa. The great Kinuan was completely defenseless in front of me.
‘With just a single movement of my hand…’
There weren’t even any surveillance devices in the office. A powerful temptation crept over me.
Kinuan was my mentor and advisor. But he was also the one who held my life in his hands. If necessary, he wouldn’t hesitate to dispose of me.
‘Kinuan’s death.’
My thoughts stretched freely. If Kinuan were to die here, what would I gain? What would I lose? Would this situation work in my favor? Or would it lead to my immediate execution? Would the Imperial Family trust a mere apprentice like me to replace Kinuan?
…Or was this entire situation a trap to test me?
I stood still, staring at Kinuan, who sat motionless as if he were dead.
Clatter.
I reached into Kinuan’s coat. If my guess was correct, it had to be there.
"As expected…"
I was also a trained user of Akies Victima. To use Kinuan’s words, I was a "Mista." I understood the principles and properties of Akies Victima well.
My fingers closed around a syringe.
‘A stimulant.’
Kinuan undoubtedly carried a drug synthesized to match his brain’s condition. Given his position and the nature of his assignments, he had to be prepared for combat situations.
If something critical came up, he would willingly endure shortened lifespan and accelerated side effects just to push his brain back to operational status.
‘Even Ken Noma, who became a wreck, could do it. There’s no way Kinuan can’t.’
I found the injection port at the back of Kinuan’s head and pressed the syringe in.
Thunk!
I only injected about 30% of the dose. That was enough to restore consciousness. Anything more was unnecessary since this wasn’t a combat situation.
Tremble.
Kinuan’s eyelids flickered violently. They opened and closed repeatedly, and his cybernetic eyes spun so fast that it looked as if he had multiple pupils.
Snap.
Then, all movement stopped. And the storm hit.
Whoosh!
Kinuan grabbed my arm and yanked me toward him. He twisted around me, locking my body as if wrapping me in a coil. His movements were unlike anything I had ever seen before—like a snake constricting its prey, he tightened around my neck and limbs.
“In—Instructor, it’s me.”
I barely managed to slip my hand between his arm and my neck, preventing myself from being completely strangled. My strained voice was enough to snap Kinuan back to full awareness.
“Ah, Luka, so it was you.”
His voice was eerily calm. The pressure around my neck and limbs immediately loosened.
‘So this is Kinuan’s true ability…’
I had been caught off guard, but his movements were utterly inhuman. It was an unpredictable, grotesque attack, and I had barely survived by instinct alone.
He had restrained me purely through combat reflexes. It shattered my understanding of what was possible.
‘Just how much of a monster was he in his prime?’
What I had just witnessed was only a fragment of Kinuan’s former self. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what he had been like at full strength.
Having seemingly finished assessing the situation, Kinuan let out a bitter chuckle.
“Good thing it was you who found me, and not someone else. I’ve ended up exposing a weakness.”
“Has your condition worsened?”
I asked as I rubbed my sore limbs. My body still ached from his sudden attack.
“Seems my time is running out.”
Maybe that was why Kinuan had decided to accept me. Perhaps he no longer had the luxury of selecting a successor at his own pace.
That worked in my favor. Even if I wasn’t fully prepared, it meant my chances of being discarded had decreased.
“Anyway, what brings you here? I seem to have lost some memories, but I don’t recall summoning you. Or is this about last night’s attack?”
It was hard to believe he had been unconscious just moments ago. His cognitive functions were already operating at full capacity.
I kept my admiration to myself and got straight to the point. Of course, Kinuan already knew that I had been attacked by the armed helicopter.
“I want to know who ordered the attack.”
For the briefest moment, Kinuan’s lips twitched.
Ivan Accretia had warned me about the attack beforehand. That meant the Imperial Family was well aware of the situation. And with Kinuan’s information network, he wouldn’t even need to conduct an investigation to know who was behind it.
“You think I know the answer?”
“Yes.”
“And even if I do, why should I tell you?”
“…Because I will remove Hemillas and become the head of the Custoria family.”
I finally said it.
Kinuan fell silent. He stroked his chin for a long moment before suddenly breaking into laughter.
“So that’s the answer you’ve come up with.”
I had no other choice.
If I wanted to protect everything I had, this was the only solution.