Chapter 105
The Carthica family's gathering ended in tragedy.
Due to the attack by an armed helicopter targeting me, twenty-two people lost their lives. One of them was killed by Ilay.
On the surface, it would be officially announced as a terrorist attack. Thinking about it, terrorist organizations were quite convenient for rulers. Whenever something inconvenient or secretive happened, they could simply blame it all on the terrorists.
I reported the current situation to Hemillas through my terminal. Hemillas also seemed busy investigating where the information had leaked from.
- Iskan was attacked as well. The leak probably came from within the Imperial Guard. We're starting by investigating the guards who are relatives of the nobles who died in the interrogation facility.
If Hemillas' assumption was correct, it was a bitter realization.
‘Ivan Accretia knew the attack was coming.’
But it wasn’t something orchestrated by the Imperial Family. They must have found out about the attack in advance through their intelligence network. The Imperial Family’s ears were everywhere in the Empire.
‘Then did Ivan really come to meet me out of goodwill? To warn me beforehand?’
Thanks to Ivan, I was able to respond to the attack. Without his warning, I might have ended up in a far worse situation—or even dead.
It was a strange feeling.
As the next head of the family, Ilay handled the aftermath. Since many members of the Carthica family had died, no one questioned Garcia’s death.
"I sincerely regret that such an incident occurred at a gathering I hosted."
Ilay said as he saw Giselle and me off. He apologized to Giselle with a respectful demeanor.
Giselle simply nodded in silence and stepped into the aerial vehicle. Her dress bore traces of someone else’s blood.
After speaking with Giselle, Ilay approached me. He placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it.
"Luka, I won’t ask for details. If it was something you could tell me, you would have already."
Ilay didn’t pry into the truth. He had always been sharp—almost cunningly so. And I, too, would remain silent about Garcia’s death.
Even without saying it out loud, we had made a deal.
"Your gun was impressive."
I mentioned Ilay’s personal weapon.
"It was my first time using it in real combat. It performed better than I expected. And, Luka…"
As he spoke, Ilay glanced briefly at the aerial vehicle where Giselle had entered.
"If you have something to say, make it clear."
"Do you remember Lilian Lamones?"
Remember? Of course. She was a woman I could never forget.
"Why bring that up all of a sudden?"
"Don't make the same mistake I did. Don't act like you're being realistic while just making excuses. You only get one shot at life. Once something passes, it never comes back."
"You're talking nonsense. Are you drunk?"
I shoved Ilay's shoulder aside as I walked past him. He called out behind me.
"I still regret it. I made up all sorts of excuses for myself. But in the end, I let go of something I should have held onto when I had the chance."
I let his words slip in one ear and out the other as I stepped into the aerial vehicle.
Giselle had already taken a seat. When she saw me, she turned her head away and stared out the window. We didn’t exchange a single word.
Vrrrr—
The aerial vehicle engaged its auto-pilot and began to ascend. As we headed toward the Custoria estate, the dawn was beginning to break.
"This attack was related to you, wasn't it?"
That was the first thing Giselle said. I answered with silence, neither confirming nor denying it.
"Right before the helicopter attacked, you started acting strangely."
At the time, I had spotted Ivan and chased after him. I hadn’t known about the attack in advance, but to Giselle, it must have looked otherwise.
"So what?"
Before I realized it, my tone had turned cold. The night’s events had left my nerves on edge.
"……Just now, you sounded like Father. He never answered my questions either. He was always doing great things for the family. If I press you, you'll probably respond the same way, won't you? Because everything is for the Custoria family. Because I don't need to know."
"You understand well."
I didn't have the patience to entertain Giselle’s complaints.
'The Imperial Family, the Custoria family, Yuri Accretia, Ivan Accretia, Kinuan, Hemillas, Iskan, Ilay Carthica…'
My mind was racing, rapidly piecing together cause and effect. The headache from earlier hadn't subsided. The area above my nostrils throbbed, burning hot as if it were about to bleed.
This wasn’t something I could control. Just as the heart beats on its own without conscious effort, the instincts and cognition refined by Akies Victima operated independently. My brain was overloaded and showed no signs of stopping.
This mechanism allowed me to anticipate ambushes and react to situations as if I had foreseen them. But right now, it was becoming a disadvantage. I needed to divert my focus somehow.
"……During the attack, I was worried about you. Even as I ran away with Ilay, my heart felt like it was going to explode from all the terrible scenarios running through my head."
Giselle's voice was heavy with emotion. I didn’t look at her. I only stared at the blue landscape of dawn flowing past the window.
"I wasn’t worried about you. I trusted Ilay. That guy would’ve protected you no matter what."
"Is that why you pushed for my engagement with him? Because you trusted him that much?"
"I told you, it’s only until he establishes himself."
"Father said that if he liked Ilay, the engagement could be real. It seemed like he believed in Ilay’s abilities more than the Carthica family’s name."
"If I hadn’t been there, Ilay would have been the top of our class this term. He’s capable, and he’s a good guy. He’s bound to rise in the ranks."
"If I marry Ilay, that’d be good for you too, wouldn’t it? Since you two are such close friends."
I was starting to get annoyed.
"…Do whatever you want. Or what kind of answer are you looking for? We’re siblings, but I’m adopted. I don’t have any say in your marriage."
"You’re really saying that—"
I cut her off.
"Listen carefully, Giselle Custoria. I fought tooth and nail for the chance to get here. And right now, I’m barely keeping up with the things right in front of me. Just breathing drags me into all sorts of problems. I don’t have the luxury to worry about you anymore. Do you understand?"
I turned to look at her directly. Her pupils widened. I had a feeling her eyes were red-rimmed, and I was right.
…Damn it.
It wasn’t like I wanted to lash out. But I couldn’t understand Giselle’s behavior.
The emotions I had suppressed came spilling out like a broken dam. Unable to stop myself, I kept speaking, as if trying to shut her down before she could say anything more.
"Think realistically. I’m not going to destroy everything I’ve built just because of some fleeting emotion. And neither are you. You always acted so smart, so above it all—so why are you being like this? I don’t…"
I trailed off. It wasn’t just because of the tears rolling down Giselle’s cheeks.
I didn’t want to speak weak words. I couldn’t afford to show any vulnerability. This was a world where even if you were born a sheep, you had to wear the mask of a wolf. You couldn’t let anyone see you as prey.
…It wasn’t like I wasn’t struggling. It felt like I was going insane. More than once, I had wanted to throw everything away. Moving forward without pause had its limits.
Monsters surrounded me on all sides, worse than me in every way. Some were beyond my understanding. If I didn’t want to be devoured by them, I had to act like a monster myself.
But there was no one I could say these things to.
Giselle, who had been blankly listening to me, tried to wipe her tears away with the heel of her palm. But there were too many.
"S-Sorry. Just… hic… look away for a second, please."
She was struggling to pull herself together.
I clicked my tongue, biting down on my lower lip. Once again, I didn’t want to lash out at her. I didn’t hold any ill will toward Giselle.
Vrrrr—
The hum of the aerial vehicle’s engine spread through the cabin in low vibrations.
Even after some time, Giselle’s emotions didn’t settle. She was pouring them out alone.
Fine. I just had to make things clear today. I wasn’t entirely without fault—I had left things ambiguous for too long. I should have been more direct from the start.
"…I’m okay now."
Giselle finally lifted her head. I turned my gaze to her.
Her cheeks and the rims of her eyes were red—enough to make anyone watching feel awkward. The collar of her outfit and her sleeves were damp. But at least there was some clarity returning to her gaze.
Before we knew it, the aerial vehicle was approaching the Custoria estate. My plan was to drop her off and return to the Imperial Guard quarters.
"This is what I’ve decided. I have no intention of becoming head of the family. Juppe just decided on his own to treat me as a competitor. And my stepmother… Eva will do everything in her power to stop me. She’ll never support me."
I changed the subject. Giselle remained silent and listened.
"But if you were to become head, Eva wouldn’t oppose you. You’re her biological daughter, after all. If you have the will, I’ll take down Juppe and support you—just like we promised before. That way, even those who don’t want a soldier as the family head will rally behind you."
I meant it. I wasn’t suited for the role of family head. Saying I’d never considered it would be a lie, but… not now.
Giselle’s expression grew calmer. She parted her lips slightly before finally speaking in a voice that had lost its earlier heat.
"Luka, I’m sorry for acting so emotionally. Looking back now, I was being really foolish."
"As long as you understand."
I spoke with a sense of relief.
"I don’t think I’m suited to be family head either. Up until now, I was just struggling to be recognized as someone useful within the family. The head of Custoria needs the strength to protect those who bear its name. And right now, I don’t have that strength."
Her voice was steady, her gaze clear. The light of reason had returned to her eyes.
"Neither Juppe nor I have that strength yet."
"Juppe might not, but you will gain power in time. Father favors you, after all. That’s why I’ve made my decision. Thanks to you knocking some sense into me, I now know exactly what I need to do."
Giselle’s expression was beyond calm—it was frozen. Her eyes were unfocused, as if staring at something distant.
Vrrrr—
The aerial vehicle came to a stop above the Custoria estate’s airfield. As the propulsion system powered down, the noise gradually faded. In the silence, Giselle’s voice became even clearer.
"I’m going to tell Father that I’ll formally marry Ilay Carthica, not just as a pretense. It’s a logical choice. It benefits everyone."
That was enough.
"Ilay is a good guy. He’ll take care of you."
"It doesn’t matter if he’s a good person or not. It doesn’t even matter if he doesn’t care for me. In a noble marriage, what’s important is aligning interests. With this, I’ll become someone useful to the Custoria family. And Luka, my marriage to Ilay will benefit you too—your closest friend will become your relative."
She made it sound as if she was doing this for my sake.
Thud.
The aerial vehicle landed.
Giselle stood up slowly. Or at least, it felt slow—maybe it was just my perception.
Everything would be settled. She would step out of this vehicle and tell Hemillas that she intended to marry Ilay. The wedding would likely take place next year or the year after.
Hemillas would approve without hesitation and push things forward quickly. Ilay, too, would benefit from solidifying his status by tying himself to the powerful Custoria family.
It was a win for everyone. The sooner, the better.
And once a decision like this was made, there was no taking it back. This wasn’t some childish whim. It certainly wasn’t something to be done in a fit of anger.
"Goodbye, Luka. I hope you live well."
Giselle stood at the door of the aerial vehicle and bowed politely. If she reached out her hand, the door would open.
‘Don’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t act like you’re being realistic while just making excuses. You only get one shot at life. Once something passes, it never comes back.’
Ilay’s words echoed in my mind.
Once something passes, it never comes back.
Not this moment. Not these feelings.
Something inside me collapsed. I was falling, with no bottom in sight. Everything I was—everything—was plummeting.
"Ah…"
The sound escaped my lips.
At some point, I had stood up and grabbed Giselle’s wrist. Even I was surprised by my own impulsive action.
Giselle’s eyes widened, trembling. The thin mask she had been wearing shattered.
Thud!
With her wrist still in my grip, I pushed her against the wall of the vehicle.
"You said this was foolish?"
Giselle looked up at me, her expression unreadable—was she laughing, or was she crying?
I had never said it out loud. I had never even allowed myself to think it. But now, I could no longer deny it.
…I like this woman.
Giselle closed her eyes. I brought my face closer. Our breath mingled first. I became acutely aware of how sweet her scent was.
Our lips met. Our front teeth knocked together with a soft click. I hadn’t learned how to do this from anywhere, but instinctively, I pushed my tongue forward. She did the same. It was as if we had made this promise long before we were even born. We exchanged breath and warmth, caught in the depth of emotion that made fools believe in fate.
Every moment was intoxicatingly sweet.
For a moment, it felt like even this wretched reality could be forgotten—as if the disaster waiting ahead didn’t exist.