TLed by NolepGuy
Chapter 97
I felt sorrowful.
I used to think that if I smiled brightly, people would turn to look at me.
Even when upset, I smiled.
Even when sad, I smiled.
I believed that if I kept smiling even when being cursed at, the friends who disliked me would eventually turn back to me.
It was the only thing I could do as someone who was being bullied.
It was the only act of rebellion I could muster as someone who had nothing. I had vowed to keep smiling forever.
But.
I later realized that the burden of emotions, which had been piling up little by little, had unknowingly turned into a massive residue of sorrow.
The foolish days when I believed that blindly smiling would eventually improve this relationship, the moments when I hoped a friend would someday approach me, all came crashing down like a mountain drenched by a downpour when I saw the word “Idiot” scrawled on my desk that day.
I stood still, staring at the desk.
“What is this…?”
My mind felt like it had gone completely blank.
I couldn’t think of anything.
I just felt as though the hope I had been building up all this time was crumbling as I stared at those chillingly written words.
Behind me, as I stood dazed, I heard snickering laughter.
-Who did that?
-I don’t know. It was like that when I came in this morning.
-Crazy… But isn’t she about to cry?
-Wow. Hey…! She’s crying.
-Crazy, puhaha!
Mockery poured down on me as I kept my head lowered.
Instead of comfort like “Are you okay?”, the reactions of my classmates, who giggled and treated my sadness like a comedy show, made me storm out of the classroom as if running away.
-What kind of “equal academy” is this…
-They say it’s an academy equal for everyone… What is this..!
Holding back my tears, I found a corner in the recycling station behind the academy and crouched down.
A space that belonged solely to me, where no one passed by.
The recycling station, which only got crowded during cleanup time, was the only place where I, being bullied, could rest.
A space entirely my own, where no one said anything and no one passed by.
It was the place I ran to when overhearing gossip in front of me or backstabbing in the restroom.
I planned to stay with my face buried in my knees until the tangled emotions subsided. After all, this was how I had endured so far.
Today, as always, I resolved to calm my heart and return with a smiling face.
There was nothing I could do. In a relationship that was already broken, there was truly nothing I could do.
Everything I did would look like a protruding nail in their eyes, and I hated that my best efforts would become a source of amusement for them.
So, once again, I crouched down here to rest today.
As I sat in the recycling station, reeking of trash, I sniffled at the sight of my own pitiful self.
-I just wanted to do well…
I felt like I was all alone.
Today, more than ever, my current self, with no one to help, felt particularly cold.
-Sniff…
That’s probably why I cried even more that day.
-What did I do wrong for everyone to treat me like this…? I just want to get along with everyone… Why are they doing this…!
-I want to be friends with you all too… I like making dolls too… I also…! I also want to talk about the person I like with you all….
-Why won’t anyone include me… Why won’t they even give me a chance?
The memory of crying with my head buried in that desolate recycling station, where no one passed by, remains an unforgettable, bitter memory.
No one listened.
The memory of silently voicing my whiny complaints alone hasn’t faded easily.
I wonder how long I cried like that.
When the bell signaling the start of class rang, I tried to pull myself together and stand up.
No matter how upset I was, I had to attend class. To maintain my position as a scholarship student, I had to attend class no matter how hard or exhausting it was.
I struggled to get up, but my legs, weighed down by my gloomy mood, wouldn’t cooperate.
-I have to go…
Muttering to myself, I hit my sluggish legs with my fist.
Get up. Staying here like this won’t change anything. Get up, I urged myself.
About three minutes passed like that.
Just as I was struggling to get up.
-Why are you crying here?
A gentle voice stopped me in my tracks.
Red hair.
A striking appearance and a somewhat fierce impression, The Man stood behind me with a small smile.
He was the person I liked.
The Man of First Love had appeared like destiny.
Seeing Ricardo, with his mischievous smile, looking at me, I was so startled that I ended up falling to the ground.
-Eek…! How long have you been there?!
-Hmm… Since you said, “What did I do wrong?!”
Ricardo’s imitation of the side of me I didn’t want to show made my face flush red. I had never been so shocked or embarrassed in my life.
From what I had observed of Ricardo so far, he didn’t seem like this type of person, but I was quite surprised by his unexpectedly approachable demeanor.
I thought he would be extremely chic.
I thought he would be cold.
Seeing Ricardo, joking around so carelessly, I clenched my fists and lowered my head as I spoke.
-Let’s go.
-I don’t want to.
-The bell rang. Please go.
-No.
Ricardo responded firmly.
Even though the bell signaling the start of class had rung, Ricardo, moving at his own pace, let out a long yawn and carefully sat down beside me.
Then, with an irritating expression, he said to me.
-I’m smart, so I don’t need to attend class.
-…What?
-Aren’t you jealous?
Ricardo, who spoke absurdly with a serious expression, silently looked at my flushed face.
He looked at my puffy red eyes.
He looked at my tear-stained eyelids.
With a bitter smile, Ricardo spoke to me in a calm voice.
-Did you cry?
-No.
-Liar. I saw everything.
-…If you saw, why are you asking?
-Because it’s fun?
Ricardo replied confidently.
Was he always like this…?
Though I felt like the illusion I had of Ricardo in my imagination was breaking, my heart pounded wildly when I saw the sunlight reflecting off his slightly smiling face.
“Get a grip…”
-Is there something on my face?
-What?
-You keep staring.
-No. It’s just that you’re handsome….
-What?
-No… What did I just say…! Never mind. I misspoke.
Ricardo smiled as he watched my flustered expression. Then, he pulled a small handkerchief out of the pocket of his butler suit and handed it to me.
I stared blankly at Ricardo’s hand, which held out a Light Brown Handkerchief with a subtle floral scent. With a look that asked why he was giving this to me, I gazed at Ricardo’s hand.
-Take it.
-…
-Your hand will fall off.
Ricardo’s hand, which had lightly touched mine, felt soft. It felt even softer than the handkerchief.
Maybe, because of the emotions I felt at that moment, it seemed even softer.
After receiving Ricardo’s Handkerchief, I blankly stared at it. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had been so kind to me, and the fluffy emotions from this fateful encounter with someone I had secretly admired began to well up.
-Sniff…
-Why are you crying again?
-I’m not crying….
Ricardo, being considerate of my tears, turned his head and mumbled.
-You’re really bad at lying.
My first meeting with Ricardo remained an unforgettable memory for me.
-Oh, come to think of it, I haven’t introduced myself.
Ricardo squatted next to me and introduced himself.
-I’m Ricardo. I’m in the same 1st Year, Class 1 as you. Hmm… I’m a troublemaker.
-I’m… Yuria.
-Yuria. What a pretty name.
-Thank you.
Starting with small talk and moving on to trivial everyday topics, time seemed to fly by.
Although I thought to myself that I should go to class, the fluttering emotions held me back, wanting to stay just a little longer.
About 30 minutes must have passed like that.
Overcome with a sense of unease, I quickly stood up.
-I should go.
-Why? Stay and chat a bit longer.
-It’s just that class…
Ricardo smiled awkwardly as he spoke.
-Ah… Well… You won’t be able to. Class.
-What?
-Hmm…
Ricardo stood up, dusted off his pants, and said.
-You’ll see when you get there.
Moving leisurely, Ricardo said that no matter how hard one tried in a ruined Academy life, all that remained was stress.
Startled by Ricardo’s response, I quietly followed him. Partly because my throat was hoarse from crying, and partly because I didn’t know what to say to Ricardo, who spoke so confidently.
And also because the person I liked was right in front of me.
All I could do was lower my head and sneak glances at Ricardo’s face.
When I returned to the classroom, I saw the chaotic state of 1st Year, Class 1.
My desk, which had been cleaned spotless.
In contrast, the desks of the other students were in complete chaos.
It looked like a fight had broken out.
A fierce fight.
And then.
-Where’s Ricardo!
The shout of a Male Student, who was searching for Ricardo with a nosebleed, echoed throughout the classroom.
-See?
Ricardo said to me with an awkward smile.
-I told you, you wouldn’t be able to attend class.
Ricardo briskly entered the classroom, stood in front of the Male Student who had been looking for him, and spoke with a Small Smile.
-Catch me if you can!!!
Ricardo ran like a madman.
*
That evening, I learned something.
The person who had scribbled graffiti on my desk was the same Male Student who had been searching for Ricardo.
And right after I had fled the classroom.
I overheard, while hiding in the Recycling Station, that Ricardo had cleaned my desk using the Male Student’s head.
-I thought he was insane. He slammed the guy’s face onto the desk and said… ‘Wipe it.’ Ugh…
-Crazy Woman Butler, my foot. His actions are no different from a Crazy Bastard.
-So what happened?
-He probably got suspended?
That day, while hiding in the Recycling Station.
For the first time, I thought an Unwelcome Guest was a welcome sight.
Clutching my pounding heart tightly.
I listened to the students’ conversation.
*
The drunkenness is creeping up on me.
I feel a little tipsy now.
It seems my emotions have gotten a bit stirred up by these old memories.
Yuria chewed on jerky and let out a sigh.
“Haa…”
And then, The Man with a Small Smile sat down in front of Yuria, holding a liquor glass.
“Why are you drinking alone like a tragic Heroine?”
Yuria lifted her head.
The Man with Red Hair.
Ricardo was sitting in front of her, smiling.