Chapter 34 – What the X Are You Talking About?
“Ayo, crap—I forgot my smokes again today… Same as usual, yeah? Lend me one?”
As he spoke, John shamelessly extended a hand toward Dylin.
“No,” Dylin replied, eyes still fixed on his book.
“Huh? No? You mean you don’t have one, or you just don’t want to give me one?”
“No.”
“C’mon, don’t be stingy. I’m not even smoking in the classroom.”
“No.”
“No, no, no—is that all you know how to say?”
“I didn’t bring any.”
“…Alright, you win. But I don’t believe for a second you’re quitting.”
John crossed his legs on the bench beside him, striking a pose that clearly said, I’m not leaving till you give me one.
“Don’t bother. I quit smoking,” Dylin said, lifting his head at last.
“Hah? You? Quit smoking? Please, what kind of international joke is this? There’s no way.”
“I really did quit.”
“No way. Once a smoker, always a smoker. You must’ve been possessed or something.”
John squinted at Dylin, stroking his chin for a long moment—then suddenly snapped his fingers like he’d solved a great mystery.
“I got it! You’re in love!”
“………?”
What the X are you talking about?
“No doubt about it. You’re totally in love—and your sweetheart is that new flame of yours!”
“Let’s back up a second. Start by explaining what the hell you mean by ‘new flame,’” Dylin deadpanned.
“Obviously, it means your latest lover—the one you ditched your old one for.”
“Quit making things up. I never had an old one.”
“Come on! Your old flame was that Silver Moon Elf Princess, wasn’t she?”
“You can talk crap like that to me, but if you say it outside, I guarantee you’re gonna die,” Dylin warned with a sidelong glance.
Especially if word got out to the Astrid Fan Club. He wasn’t about to get kidnapped and bagged.
“So who’s the new flame? What’s she like? What kind of Divine Princess? Human? Demi-human?” John leaned in like a gossip columnist.
“John, honestly—if Eirso, the divine protector of Divine Children, granted you Divine Child skills, it was a waste. Have you ever considered switching careers to tabloid journalism?”
“Don’t tell me… it’s another elf, isn’t it?”
“………”
Dylin fell silent.
As much of an idiot as John was, he wasn’t wrong. Dylin did smell like a woman. And that woman was an elf.
But that elf… was himself.
“Wait, that face—you’re not denying it? Holy crap, nailed it!” John slapped the table.
“‘Nailed it’?”
“Of course! Think about it—you got dumped by your old flame, right?”
“……………”
“Then you go and recruit a new Divine Princess—also an elf.”
“……………”
“Isn’t that your way of telling your ex: See? I’ve got someone better now. She’s also an elf—but she accepts everything about me, unlike you. She’s better than you in every way. There are tons of elf girls in the world who’d choose me over you. Eat that.”
“Hey, hey, wouldn’t it be a blast to have your ex and new flame meet face-to-face? Drama of the year!”
“Stop. This is a school, not a soap opera.” Dylin shut his book. Thanks to this clown, he had no interest in reading anymore. “Like any elf Divine Princess would look twice at me.”
“Fair point,” John nodded. “I was thinking the same thing the other day—tried recruiting an elf Divine Princess myself. Man, the look she gave me… like I was garbage. Didn’t even want to speak.”
“Then what’s with you insisting I’m in love just because I quit smoking?”
“Isn’t that how it always goes? Some guy falls in love, and his girlfriend makes him quit for his health or whatever. It’s practically a romance trope.”
“You’ve read too many novels.”
“No, listen—someone like you, quitting cold turkey? That’s gotta mean something. A guy doesn’t toss his whole smoking career aside unless something big’s going on!”
“Fine. I’ll just say it—I got a new Divine Princess. So what? You think I’m worried you’ll try to steal her?”
With that, John threw an arm around Dylin’s shoulders.
“…Let go,” Dylin said flatly, raising a brow.
“Huh?”
“You reek of smoke. Don’t come near me.”
“Wha—?”
John froze, stunned.
Dylin brushed John’s hand off, then patted down his shoulder like he might’ve picked up ash just from being touched.
“Hey, are you alright?” John asked, bewildered. “What happened to you, man? You’re like a different person.”
This was the same guy who used to chain-smoke without caring what he smelled like. Now he was acting like secondhand smoke would kill him?
John had originally assumed Dylin was faking it—playing some new persona after being dumped. But now? He genuinely wondered if Dylin had some kind of illness.
No one reacts that strongly to a bit of cigarette scent—not even someone trying to quit.
But Dylin wasn’t paying attention anymore.
One hand rested on his textbook; the other was secretly clutching the Golden Butterfly Hairpin.
He was pulling gacha.
Lately, aside from his studies, he hadn’t skipped a single daily or weekly quest—accumulating a decent stash of pull fragments.
And just this morning, he noticed the UP banner in the Golden Chalice Gacha had changed.
The previous Cobalt Crosslance had been rotated out—replaced with a deep blue potion in an ornate bottle etched with golden runes.
[Soul Source Elixir]: Permanently increases spiritual power. Effect: Substantial.
Dylin’s eyes lit up. This was exactly what he needed.
An alchemy potion that could permanently enhance spiritual stamina—an item so rare that the original recipe creator might not even be alive anymore. Its value was beyond measure, far beyond the realm of gold.
But—
He glanced at the gacha bar.
“148 more draws until guaranteed UP item.”
And his vision dimmed.
How long is that going to take to grind out? Will I even make it before the banner ends...?