Chapter 20. Didn't Remember.
I handed the cup of water to Pol, who had asked for it.
As if incredibly thirsty, he gulped it down hastily and then offered the cup back.
Only after drinking several cups did Pol seem satisfied, letting out a breath.
“Phew. Now I feel like I can live.”
Pol wiped the water droplets trickling down his chin with the back of his hand and then flopped back down.
Drinking so much water and doing that seemed like a perfect recipe for vomiting.
“How many days has it been?”
“Almost a week. How's your body condition?”
“The worst. It's hard to even move a little.”
Thanks to using the Guild Master's precious potion, the external wound left no trace, but having lain immobile for days without even eating, it was natural he'd be weak.
“I'll ask the innkeeper for patient food.”
Forcing hard-to-digest food into an empty stomach could lead to indigestion, which would be serious.
The innkeeper's cooking skills didn't seem particularly outstanding, but they could probably manage patient food, which mostly just requires adding lots of water and boiling thoroughly.
As I was about to leave the room, Pol called me back.
“Brother. Can't the meal wait a little?”
“Why? Is the bathroom more urgent?”
Having starved for days, he must be incredibly hungry.
If something was more urgent than that, it would likely be needs of another kind.
However, my guess was splendidly wrong.
“Just, talk for a moment.”
Hey, saying it like that makes my thoughts seem crude.
“What does a guy who was lying like a corpse until now have to say……”
If the story was that important, shouldn't he have said it before getting stabbed?
“First of all, thank you.”
“Thanks?”
For nursing him?
If so, it becomes a bit embarrassing.
Because I hadn't really done anything nurse-like.
I did frequently pop in and out of this room, but only to check if Pol had woken up.
Pol, being unconscious, couldn't possibly have been aware of my comings and goings anyway.
Perhaps sensing my displeasure, Pol forced a smile and continued.
“For saving me.”
“Are you being sarcastic?”
I was the one who stabbed him dangerously close to death.
Being thanked for saving him was completely out of line.
“I know too that silencing me by killing me right there would have been the easier and more certain path for you, Brother. Yet, you tried your best not to kill me.”
“Hmm.”
Let's bury the fact that I considered killing him off several times.
Anyway, in the end, I didn't kill him.
“As expected, Brother, you are different from Luke Brother.”
* * *
“……!”
At the shocking statement, I reflexively held my breath.
This kid knew I wasn't Luke?
Has he been deceiving me all this time?
I was deceived by a brat like this?
“Did you think I wouldn't know until now? Did I seem that clueless?”
……Actually, this is natural.
I've never even met Luke, how could I possibly imitate him properly?
Just as the Sword Saint did, anyone who knew Luke couldn't possibly fail to distinguish between me and Luke.
But Pol had only shown foolishness until now, so I trusted his innocent brain cells and didn't suspect.
“……Brother?”
Revealing the truth is cruel.
For Pol's dignity, I maintained silence.
“Anyway, I wasn't certain.”
Pol continued with a sullen expression.
I see.
We were together for days, yet he wasn't certain.
Unlike the Sword Saint who was certain in less than a minute and immediately swung his sword at me.
He's a bit smarter than I thought, but seems like he's still a blockhead after all.
“You might not have been Luke, yet you entrusted your life to me as ordered?”
What on earth did he trust?
No, this kid even said Luke would have killed him.
A gamble where he could only survive if I was both not Luke and a person who wouldn't casually kill people.
How many lives does he have?
As I was aghast at the insane act I couldn't even imagine, Pol just smiled.
“Isn't it necessary to risk one's life for my sincerity to be conveyed?”
“Sincerity?”
“That even if you weren't Luke Brother, I wouldn't betray you.”
Indeed.
If this kid had revealed he noticed my identity, I would have been wary first.
I might have doubted whatever he said, considered him a threat, and seriously tried to eliminate him.
But since he entrusted his life to me, how could I doubt further?
The possibility that this was all calculated isn't entirely zero, but…… if he's dedicated enough to deceive me by perfectly acting the fool, then playing along is polite.
Because I would never win if I tried a battle of wits.
And most importantly.
There wasn't much to gain from me anyway.
“Knowing I wasn't Luke, you could have left or reported me to the Empire.”
“As I mentioned earlier, I wasn't certain, and-”
The words 'What would you have done if you were certain?' almost reflexively popped out, but I held back.
Yeah. A guy who can't even properly anticipate how his own words will sound, acting? Impossible.
“Honestly, I like you more than Luke Brother, Brother.”
Goosebumps rose at the sudden coming out.
Of course, it probably wasn't meant sexually - but hearing a guy say he likes me felt weird…….
“……Why?”
I shook my head, clearing unnecessary thoughts, and continued the conversation.
“Luke Brother taught me swordsmanship and helped me survive, but…… honestly, he wasn't a good person. It was obvious he took me in for a purpose.”
Pol smiled bitterly.
Much could be read from that reaction.
This must have been the point where he realized I wasn't Luke.
Because while I acted rough towards Pol, pretending to be Luke, and kept some distance due to vigilance - I still treated him as a 'human'.
“The few days I spent with you, Brother, were much more enjoyable.”
While we got along reasonably well, we didn't do anything particularly special.
Yet he says just that was enough.
“I want to stay with you in the future too, Brother. Please, allow me to remain by your side.”
Saying that small happiness was precious enough to risk his life for -
I just couldn't understand.
For me, whose priority is surviving somehow, no matter what.
“Aren't you scared? You would have died if things went slightly wrong.”
“My intuition was good.”
That damn 'intuition' again.
Though it's tempting to dismiss him as a madman, consequently, everything succeeded.
Finding me, entrusting his life to me and surviving, gaining my trust.
They say human intuition isn't entirely baseless, but this is a bit much.
Did he receive divine revelation or something?
“……Damn it. Didn't anticipate this situation.”
The original plan was to drag Pol along moderately, then make an excuse and part ways.
Because my situation wasn't relaxed enough to wander around with a potential risk factor tucked under my arm.
Of course, if asked whether it was a bad thing, it wasn't.
‘Rather, it’s something to welcome.’
If he knows my identity yet wants to stay together, then 'reliable companion' is more appropriate than 'risk factor'.
He would surely be helpful in some way.
Yet, the reason I couldn't readily rejoice was due to the confusion in my head.
Though there was also the minor issue that 80% of the plans I had made so far became meaningless.
“Yeah, well, it'll work out somehow……”
Now I don't know either.
What's the point of making plans?
Unpredictable things keep happening endlessly.
* * *
After the decision for Pol to accompany me was somewhat anticlimactically made, I received patient food from the innkeeper and delivered it to Pol.
Only when the food was in front of him did Pol seem to realize his stomach was empty, shoveling food into his mouth frantically.
While continuing his meal for some time, Pol suddenly pulled my arm as if remembering something.
“Heo-nim. Heo-nim. Bu I hab so-ing.” (Brother. Brother. But I have something.)
“Let's swallow what's in your mouth before talking?”
Setting aside the difficulty in understanding, the stuff flying out of his mouth is dirty.
Pol hastily swallowed the food in his mouth and then spoke.
“I have something I'm curious about.”
“Suddenly?”
Now I'm a bit scared about what bombshell he might drop next.
“Brother, you're not Luke Brother, right? Then what should I call you?”
“Ben, like until now, should be fine.”
Ben.
'Green' Ben.
Confirming the address as this one from now on would lower the possibility of Pol accidentally uttering the name Luke and causing trouble.
“Is that your real name?”
“How could it be?”
“Then what's your real name?”
“What would you do knowing?”
There's no one in this world who knows me.
The Sword Saint old man was the only one I told.
A name that will never be called by anyone holds no meaning.
Korean names stand out too much in this neighborhood, making them unusable even as aliases.
“Because I know nothing about you, Brother! Since we'll be together from now on, we should get to know each other……!”
“Unpleasant. Don't cling.”
I pushed away Pol, who excitedly thrust his face forward.
Now that it was clear I wasn't Luke Ivers, the sense of distance suddenly became strange.
“However, you're not entirely wrong.”
Until now, pretending to be Luke Ivers, we hadn't even had a proper conversation.
Lines that shouldn't be crossed, individual goals.
If these aren't clearly established, it could become a major problem later.
“Introduce yourself first.”
“Being asked so suddenly, I can't really think……”
When the arrow of questioning suddenly turned towards him, Pol couldn't hide his bewilderment.
“You asked me readily enough, but can't explain yourself?”
“Keub-! Sorry!”
Pol bowed his head almost prostrating himself on the bed.
A posture that seemed to embody the phrase 'sincere apology'.
So much so that a stinging guilt automatically bloomed in my chest.
This kid, he might lack other things, but he definitely has a talent for apologizing.
“Enough. What am I doing with a guy who was unconscious until just now.”
I immediately grabbed the scruff of Pol's neck and pulled him up.
Being pointlessly mean just made my own heart more uncomfortable.
Pol himself just grinned foolishly right away, without a second thought.
“Hehe. As expected, Ben Brother is kind.”
He's happy.
No matter how I think about it, I'm not kinder than average.
How can such a sucker exist in the world?
“By the way, what's your relationship with Luke Brother? Your faces are identical, and you know swordsmanship too……”
“Shouldn't you have asked that before the name?”
“Eh. Really?”
…….
The mood is nice for a change, so I shouldn't curse him for being stupid, right?
I patiently began the explanation.
“I possessed the body of Luke Ivers.”
“You were a ghost?!”
“What are you talking about! I am……!”
I tried to retort Pol's words but was cut short.
‘I am, what?’
A possessor who took over Luke Ivers's body.
This expression encompasses Luke's body and my soul.
If the pure 'me' is separated from this—calling me, who is merely a soul, a ghost might actually be an accurate expression.
‘Did I die?’
A part I hadn't consciously considered, being preoccupied with immediate events.
How did I end up in this body?
‘I—’
Tracing back my memories, I felt a sense of unease.
Humans cannot remember everything.
That's a very obvious proposition.
One can forget over time.
However…….
There are surely 'things that must be remembered'.
I can't recall my parents' faces.
The region where I lived, the company I worked at, even the name of the cat I raised.
A hole in memory.
“Ha.”
An unrestrained, hollow laugh escaped.