Chapter 7: Evangelist of Happiness in the Abandoned Land (1)
Ding-dong!
A clear and pleasant sound rang out across the world.
Kim Jangcheol instinctively opened his eyes wide. Like a tightly packed cod roe, a neatly filled message popped up before him, and he read it.
‘...What? Happy Points… accumulation? So I earn points every time I make the Demon Lord’s forces feel full and happy?’
It was absurd. Not once in his 19 playthroughs of the game *Paladin of Blood* had he encountered such a system.
As he stood dumbfounded, a follow-up message popped up energetically.
Ding-dong-dong!
[You earn 1 Happy Point for each Demon from the Demon Lord’s forces who feels a sense of happiness.]
[You can use accumulated Happy Points to increase your stats.]
[There are five basic stats available for purchase.]
[Health, Mind, Strength, Agility, Magic Power]
[Currently, you are able to use up to 20% of the original power possessed by Demon Lord Credos.]
[Each time you spend Happy Points to purchase a stat, the maximum stat percentage of Credos that you can access increases by 10%.]
[Upon reaching 100%, you will be able to fully draw out that stat of Demon Lord Credos and wield the true power of the Demon Lord.]
[Initial stat purchase cost = 50 Happy Points]
[The cost for the next purchase increases with each stat bought.]
‘What the hell is this.’
He thought of the idle games he sometimes played on his phone. The kind where you dump points into the protagonist’s stats to power them up.
But this time, the target was himself.
‘So... if I invest the points, I can increase my max stat cap—whether it’s health, strength, or magic power?’
And if he kept investing?
Eventually, he could hit 100%. That meant he could fully draw out 100% of all of Demon Lord Credos’s abilities—like a tree that generously gives everything without holding back.
‘This is no joke.’
This was extreme self-optimization in the truest sense!
Of course, it wouldn’t be easy. The higher the stage, the more exponentially the required points would increase—just like in any typical idle game.
‘Idle game mechanics, huh? Then what about skills?’
He suddenly remembered how in those kinds of games, you could also invest points into skills.
And sure enough—
Ding-dong!
A fresh notification sound rang out once more, bringing in a new message.
[You can also use Happy Points to enhance various skills.]
[Current Skills]
[Bloody Lightning (Lv.1) / Level Up: 250 Points]
[Current Happy Points: 0]
[The road to accumulating Happy Points is long and arduous, but the results shall be glorious.]
[Good luck♡]
That was the end of the message.
Kim Jangcheol scanned the empty space where the message had disappeared with a gaze filled with disbelief. A quiet sigh escaped his lips without him realizing. Yet at the same time, he came to a realization.
‘This really isn’t a joke.’
He could feel the immense potential.
Points earned by feeding his subordinate Demons and making them feel happy—what a concept. Then what if he hosted a group feast for all the Demons in the Abandoned Land? That would mean he could rake in thousands of points in one go, right?
‘Then I wouldn’t have to worry about getting killed by someone else anymore.’
Well… except for that monster, Aged Kimchi.
...Creak.
Still, that was something.
Kim Jangcheol felt a glimmer of hope. He raised his head, filled with a burning desire to succeed in farming. Then he turned toward Baal, who was groggily getting up beside him.
But somehow—
Baal looked a little different than before. Maybe it was because this guy had been the trigger for the Happy Points system opening up.
‘Tsk… So this guy’s someone who can give me Happy Points too—in other words, a client, right?’
Whether he liked him or not, as long as the guy was useful, he was a good one! Whether he loved him or hated him, if he gave generously, he’d be worth a kiss!
Maybe that was why Baal was starting to look a bit cute.
Before, he had just been plain terrifying.
Just making eye contact made Kim Jangcheol tremble in fear.
One wrong move and it felt like he’d get his spine replaced on the spot.
But now, it was different.
‘Depending on how I use him, he can be a useful guy.’
And the more of these types he had under him, the stronger he’d become. Life in this world would become easier. So he had to feed and support as many Demons as possible. Even the Four Great Demon Generals were no exception. He had to take even better care of them. After all, they were high-ranking officers with great influence over the other Demons.
Which meant right now…
“Hey, big guy.”
“...Hm?”
“You do realize that climbing up this cliff isn’t the end, right?”
“Hrm?”
“That’s why I’m doing this. So you won’t die.”
“What the...”
“Sorry. Smile?”
“......”
Kim Jangcheol faced Baal with a warm, gentle smile. Baal froze for a moment, as if he had no idea what this guy was talking about. Then, awkwardly, gradually, he mimicked the smile.
And in that moment—
Snap!
Kim Jangcheol reached out and grabbed the back of Baal’s head. Before Baal could react, he shoved the demon’s head downward—nearly slamming it into the ground. Straight toward a massive pile of gull droppings that had accumulated on the cliff.
Splat!
“...Kugh!”
Baal’s face was buried in bird poop. A foul, fishy stench exploded across his features! The giant of the Four Great Demon Generals flailed in shock.
But Kim Jangcheol didn’t let him go. As Baal floundered in confusion, trying to get up, Jangcheol hooked his leg and knocked him over. As if that wasn’t enough, he kicked Baal in the side, rolling him across the seagull poop-strewn ground.
“W-What! To Baal, of all people... What the hell is this?!”
A sudden and senseless assault!
Thanks to it, Baal ended up dressed in bird droppings and battered old feathers—as if he’d been dipped in some kind of fried chicken coating. He was dumbfounded. Furious. He tried to protest.
No matter how high and mighty this man was as the Demon Lord, even if he had just saved Baal, wasn’t this going way too far? How could he treat Baal like this? Had he gone completely mad?
But in the next moment, Baal found himself speechless.
Because he was staring at something he’d never imagined, never even considered. Something no one could possibly expect to see in a lifetime.
He had come face to face with true madness.
“Ehehehe... Hehehuh...?”
The Demon Lord.
Credos.
Was rolling around in the bird poop by himself.
Beaming joyfully as he rolled to the left.
Laughing like he was having the time of his life as he rolled to the right.
Then he reached out, grabbed a handful of feathers, and slapped them onto his forehead.
He turned toward Baal.
“Whew, now I can finally relax. Right?”
“……”
What did he mean, “relax”?
He was covered in bird droppings.
Wearing a feathered coat of sorts like some twisted fried chicken.
What in the world was so great about this that he could smile so happily?
Maybe, just maybe... Baal had become the first unfortunate soul to witness the exact moment their Demon Lord had snapped.
The Four Great Demon General Baal began to seriously ponder the course of his life and future.
Then it happened.
Fwoooosh!
Suddenly, a blinding flash of light enveloped the craggy cliff where Kim Jangcheol and Baal stood. At the same time, a transparent shockwave swept through the area.
“...!”
Baal flinched and curled his massive body in alarm.
Kim Jangcheol, meanwhile, wore a meaningful smile.
‘I knew it.’
The memory came flooding back.
Wasn’t it during his 13th playthrough, the first time he had climbed this cliff?
After hundreds of attempts, he had finally reached the top—and had been overwhelmed with joy. He had bounced up and down with excitement. And exactly one minute later, he had been greeted with a pitch-black screen and a crimson message that read: ‘YOU DIED.’
The reason had been simple.
‘This craggy cliff is outside the map boundaries.’
It was a place the character was never meant to reach. Whether a playable character or an NPC—it didn’t matter. No one was supposed to be here.
But what about him?
And Baal?
They were now standing in a place that no one should be able to access.
The system had glitched.
‘Because of that, if a character stays in this area for too long, the system detects the error and reacts.’
It executes a kind of ‘cleanup.’ That is, the system removes the character that’s ended up outside the map to eliminate the error.
That’s why—
‘After I first succeeded in climbing this place, I tried everything I could to find a way to avoid the cleanup.’
He didn’t give up.
He’d come this far—he was desperate to see it through.
And thanks to that, he had discovered it.
A way to avoid the system’s error removal.
That was none other than the stunt he had just pulled: ‘covering himself in bird poop.’
“......”
Honestly, he knew it was weird.
But what could he do?
He had to cover his entire body with out-of-map objects or textures so the system wouldn’t recognize the character’s presence here. Only then would it judge that there was no error. So if survival meant smearing himself in bird poop—or even dog poop—and smiling through it, then so be it.
‘Thanks to that, I managed to save Baal too.’
Kim Jangcheol subtly shook off the chill that crept over him. Honestly, that had been dangerously close. If he’d been just a little slower, either he or Baal—or maybe both—would’ve been ‘cleaned up’ by the system. Even if they had applied just a bit less gull droppings, they probably would’ve been deleted.
But they had survived.
He was elated.
“...We did it. Kuheheheh.”
With this, the Craggy Cliff Climb was a complete success.
He’d also succeeded in collecting bird droppings and eggshells.
Which meant a green light for making fertilizer—bam!
Kim Jangcheol chuckled with delight.
Covered head to toe in seagull poop.
With a clump of feathers stuck to his forehead.
He began to shimmy his shoulders as he cheerfully collected the surrounding gull droppings.
Dirty, you ask?
Not at all.
Kim Jangcheol had already maxed out his resistance to all manner of rot and stench after years of handling every kind of decomposing and fermented compost and liquid fertilizer during his time in graduate school.
How bad had it been? Even the local ENT doctor had once politely asked if he could use Kim Jangcheol’s medical record as a reference for studies on olfactory loss.
‘Bird poop? This is nothing. Back in the lab, I used to smear month-old mackerel guts with my bare hands!’
But now?
Bird poop felt almost like perfume.
Or maybe a rich, nostalgic scent of home.
And thanks to that, Baal, who was watching him...
‘...Baal is scared.’
He felt an involuntary shiver ripple down his spine.
To be honest, he’d been pretty angry earlier.
This guy had shoved his face into a pile of gull droppings out of nowhere. Knocked him over. Rolled him through a field of poop. It had been humiliating. He’d wanted to protest. Really, he had.
“……”
But yeah.
His mother had told him.
Never mess with a lunatic.
Especially one who didn’t even know they were crazy.
‘Baal listens to his mother.’
The massive Four Great Demon General made a solemn vow.
From now on, he would never challenge or defy Demon Lord Credos. Just one bad decision and who knows what could happen to him. He might find himself performing the Seven-Star Eel Ascension Dance against his will.
So, it was best to stay low.
That’s when—
“Hey.”
Still beaming as he scooped up gull poop, Kim Jangcheol turned to look at Baal.
“Mind helping out a bit?”
“……”
“Doing this alone’s kinda slow, y’know?”
“……”
“If we run out of time, we’ll have to do another poop coating.”
“......!”
Baal’s movements suddenly became much more efficient.
Of course, the hulking Demon General couldn’t possibly imagine—
That the smiling lunatic beside him, who was joyfully gathering bird poop like it was the most fulfilling task in the world, had a massive vision forming in his head.
And thanks to that vision, the desolate reality of the Abandoned Land would soon transform into its first-ever fertile future.