Chapter 5: This Version No Longer Suits a Tsundere
"I'm back."
Pixel Mask pushed open the doors of the D-City branch of the Hero Association.
Exhausted, he placed his helmet—with the pixel screen—onto the table, pulled out a chair, and sat down.
"Welcome back, Brother Lu Zheng."
It was rare to hear such words.
Lu Zheng instinctively turned toward the voice, but didn’t see its owner.
Then, he felt a chill on one side of his face.
A can of cold drink was handed from behind and pressed against his cheek.
Lu Zheng took the drink and turned to look at the person handing it over.
It was a short-haired girl wearing a tight-fitting tracksuit.
He was a little surprised. "Ye Qin, you're still on duty?"
This girl was far more favored by the branch chief than he was. Even if she showed up late or left early every day, she wouldn’t get scolded. She only had to go on missions when he, the ace, wasn’t around. Her life was way easier than his.
Looking at Ye Qin, who seemed to live in another world entirely, Lu Zheng felt even more mentally exhausted—already burdened after nearly losing his manhood.
And to think the branch chief was his childhood friend. She didn’t give him even a hint of special treatment.
Lu Zheng shot a resentful glare at Miss Qiu Yu, the branch chief sitting across from him.
Perhaps out of guilt for constantly assigning him work, Miss Qiu Yu avoided his gaze. Her head lowered, cheeks flushed, she stirred something in her cup with a spoon.
Watching her bestie like this, Ye Qin could only sigh helplessly.
This was exactly why she hadn’t left work early.
No, more like—it was guaranteed this would happen.
Better leave it to me, the ever-reliable wingwoman.
She looked at Qiu Yu. "Hey, Chief, did you forget about that thing?"
Upon hearing Ye Qin’s reminder, Miss Qiu Yu jolted, buried her head even lower, and stirred her drink even more vigorously.
Lu Zheng, meanwhile, grew curious. "What thing?"
Ye Qin gestured with her eyes. "Why don’t you ask the chief? It’s a good thing~"
Lu Zheng looked at Miss Qiu Yu with curiosity.
Once again feeling Lu Zheng’s gaze, Qiu Yu lowered her head even further.
"Th-that... I..."
It took a long while before she even started mumbling.
"'You' what?" Lu Zheng was puzzled.
"I... I..."
Qiu Yu’s spoon spun faster and faster, then suddenly stopped. She gave up on decorum.
"I mean, why haven’t you finished writing today’s mission report?! You come back and just slump in your chair—if Ye Qin hadn’t reminded me, I would’ve totally forgotten!"
She grew more flustered as she spoke and finally stood up, slamming the table hard. "And don’t think I’ll write it for you again!"
Hearing her best friend blow up like that, Ye Qin slapped her palm to her face.
"Guh."
Lu Zheng shrank back, fully exposed.
He turned to Ye Qin in horror.
This is the “good news” you were talking about?
He’d been planning to slack off, wait until clock-out time, and push the mission report to next Monday.
Honestly, writing it wasn’t even that much of a hassle.
D-City’s evil organizations really only had Dr. Alien operating. Her actions were scheduled to an almost absurd degree, and the outcomes were always about the same. He just had to copy and slightly revise an old report.
But after the trauma of nearly losing his manhood, all he wanted now was to slack off.
He opened his computer in despair, clicked open the mission report document, and started typing.
"No, I mean the two tickets someone gave the chief yesterday. I remember it was for the premiere of Gunfire Domain, right? Brother Lu Zheng, didn’t you say you wanted to see it?"
Even if it meant backstabbing a teammate, Ye Qin—the loyal wingwoman—was determined to fulfill her mission.
She knew all too well how hopeless her bestie was in matters of love, so she simply gave up on the now-desk-planted, self-loathing Qiu Yu and pushed Lu Zheng to make the first move instead.
But Lu Zheng didn’t react the way she expected. Instead of excitement, he looked hesitant.
"A premiere, huh... I think it’s tonight, right? Mm... why don’t you two go?"
"Eh? I thought you said you were interested?" Ye Qin was surprised.
"I am interested, but tonight... I just want to lie down in bed at home."
Lu Zheng was thoroughly exhausted, body and soul—he just couldn’t get excited.
Plus, he didn’t really care much about premieres. He could just catch it in theaters later.
"Useless man."
Miss Qiu Yu, still sprawled on the table, suddenly recovered from her self-loathing just in time to stab Lu Zheng in the heart with a careless comment.
As if she wasn’t a total wreck herself. She actually had the nerve to call someone else useless?
Ye Qin was beyond irritated. She grabbed a pen and chucked it at her chaotic, good-for-nothing bestie.
"Shut up already!"
Maybe the pen knocked Qiu Yu’s brain back into place. She realized what she’d said and slumped back down onto the desk in renewed self-loathing.
"What’s wrong, Brother Lu Zheng?"
Ye Qin was curious.
Usually, after beating up Dr. Alien, Lu Zheng would come back looking refreshed, as if he’d vented all his pent-up frustrations. It was rare for him to be this worn out.
"It was close... If I hadn’t reacted fast enough, our division’s gender ratio would’ve gone from 2:1 to 3:0."
Having typed the final word of the report, Lu Zheng pushed aside the keyboard and slumped into his chair, nervously recalling the narrow escape.
"What?!"
After hearing Lu Zheng’s story, Miss Qiu Yu was furious. She jumped up, rolled up her sleeves, ready to arrest Dr. Alien on the spot and deliver justice then and there.
What, did they think she was some weak little kitten?
Trying to turn her... her... her most important subordinate into a woman?! It was time to show those villains who they were messing with!
"Calm down! Calm down!"
Lu Zheng and Ye Qin quickly restrained Miss Qiu Yu.
"You didn’t forget that as branch chief, you can’t act rashly while there are other heroes available for deployment, right? You still have to watch over D-City’s spiritual veins."
"Yeah, yeah! And Dr. Alien is actually pretty well-behaved. Even if her brain is a little fried, the stuff she researches is real and legit. If we push her too hard and she starts acting out in the city, it’d be a disaster."
The two pinned Miss Qiu Yu to her seat—one massaging her shoulders, the other handing her water.
"...If you both say so."
Feeling Lu Zheng’s hands massaging her shoulders, Miss Qiu Yu lowered her head, blushed, accepted the water from Ye Qin, and took a small sip.
Fine, Dr. Alien had paid for her crimes.
She would let her off—for now.