3: Sharing Fortune Alone but Sharing Hardship Together Is Basic Villain Etiquette
Dr. Alien suppressed her irritation, kicked off her shoes, slipped on her slippers, and walked into the living room. She slouched onto the sofa like a rag doll, picked up the remote control, and pointed it at the TV, intending to report today’s results.
The slightly unusual field of vision made her pause.
She looked down at her current body and felt increasingly annoyed.
Given her understanding of those unreliable friends in her organization, if she didn’t immediately seize control of communications, her current appearance would definitely be a target for merciless mockery.
With the mindset of sharing fortune alone but hardship together, Dr. Alien got back up from the sofa, went into the storage room, grabbed a screen, and brought it to the TV.
She adjusted it at the edges and installed it onto the TV, then returned to the sofa.
Dr. Alien touched the sleek ray gun in her pocket.
It was the portable version of the Super Girlification Machine she had made. Because it didn’t include the permanent girlification beam, it hadn’t been involved in the nemesis girlification plan, so it hadn’t been taken to the lab and had thus survived.
Dr. Alien pointed the remote at the TV and entered a specific sequence of presses.
After a burst of their organization’s evil BGM, a man lounging diagonally on a table and another man sitting properly in front of a computer appeared on the screen.
“Who are you? How did you hack into the headquarters of the I Love Savory Tofu Pudding Association?”
The man slouched on the table raised an eyebrow at the sight of Dr. Alien, then immediately switched to an angry expression and pointed at her nose in accusation.
“Enough, Xia An.” Dr. Alien crossed her legs, draped her left arm over the sofa back, and casually tossed the remote beside her. “Who else but your dear old dad would be calling this rickety little organization of ours?”
“I told you she wouldn’t fall for your bluff. You owe me fifty cents.”
The man sitting properly at the computer curled his lips into a smile and extended a hand toward Xia An.
“Got it, Ji Ping. I’ll repay you all at once when I owe you a hundred.”
He already owed so many fifty-cent bets that Xia An had lost count.
And since Ji Ping had never once asked for the money, he just waved him off carelessly and turned back to Dr. Alien. “I’m telling you, Yi Ning, I really can’t agree with this so-called 'dad' thing.”
The few of them had been good friends back at the Evil University under the Evil Council. After graduation, they founded the I Love Savory Tofu Pudding Association together.
Unless necessary, they preferred to address each other by their real names instead of the code names they used during evil operations.
After all, some people’s code names were too embarrassing to say out loud.
Yi Ning raised her eyebrow, a bit puzzled.
Xia An’s brain always went off-track when talking to women he wasn’t romantically interested in. Few could keep up with his thought process.
She was the only member of the organization struggling out in the field, the only one actually doing what an evil organization member ought to do.
Fine, the funding came from their boss, Gu Ke, and Ji Ping handled logistics and documentation, so she could let them slide. But what right did this guy—who was supposedly gathering intelligence but was really just messing around with random lovers—have to deny her supreme fatherly authority?
It was time to give him a little lesson in parental hierarchy.
Yi Ning reached into her pocket, disengaged the safety on the ray gun, and rested her index finger on the trigger.
She was already frustrated over her failed evil plan and was absolutely in the mood to drag some unfortunate soul down with her.
Yi Ning curled her lips into a slight smirk. Her gaze toward Xia An turned cold, as though she were staring at a corpse.
That look gave Ji Ping chills.
Based on his understanding of their small circle, he silently slid his chair backward to make sure he could dive under the table the moment Yi Ning acted.
But Xia An clearly didn’t notice the faint murderous aura around her. “Think about it, ‘father’ is usually used for men, right? In your current state, it doesn't really fit, does it?”
He held his fingers up to the screen, measuring Yi Ning’s current height with his thumb and forefinger, then gestured in front of himself.
Ji Ping slightly lifted his rear from his chair, legs angled toward the desk, fully ready to dive for cover.
Xia An rambled on: “So wouldn’t it be more appropriate to call you ‘mother’ instead?”
He grew more and more excited.
He clenched one fist in front of his chest and raised the other high above his head: “Combined with your current body, you're the perfect little loli-mama!”
Ji Ping sucked in a breath through his teeth and lowered his head, ready to duck under the table at any moment.
“Ji Ping, I’m doing something greedy right now.”
Xia An stood up from the table, both hands on the tabletop, head tilted back, posing with a sacred expression—completely unaware that Yi Ning on the screen had already turned into a snarling demon.
“Ji Ping, you’ve got less than one second to get under that desk.”
Before he even finished the sentence, Yi Ning had pulled out the portable girlification gun and fired it at the screen.
Fortunately, thanks to earlier prep, Ji Ping successfully slid under the table a split second before she drew her weapon. But unfortunately, the last member of the group—their boss, Gu Ke—just so happened to poke his head in front of the screen at that exact moment.
“Yi Ning is back to report? Talking this intensely… don’t tell me the plan actually succeeded?”
The beam from the girlification gun traveled cleanly through the transmission screen Yi Ning had set up and struck both people on the other side.
Crap.
Yi Ning gasped and scrambled to grab the remote she had tossed aside.
She raised one hand in salute and rattled off her report like pouring beans from a bamboo tube: “Anyway, today’s plan failed as usual. Call over!”
Without waiting for a response from the two newly appeared, confused women on the screen, she shut off the TV, disassembled the transmission screen, then pulled a dust cover from the drawer and threw it over the TV.
After completing the entire sequence of actions, Yi Ning flopped onto the sofa as if drained of all energy.
What terrible luck.
She let out a helpless sigh.
Normally, the boss never came to headquarters. Why did he have to show up today of all days?
And if he had to show up, why right when she fired the girlification ray at Xia An?
Would there be retaliation down the line?
That thought crossed Yi Ning’s mind.
Surely not, right?
She tried to comfort herself.
She had once heard from Xia An that their boss’s family always wanted a daughter but had ended up with five sons.
Apparently, the boss’s parents were preparing to try for a sixth. In a way, hadn’t she just helped fulfill a family wish?
And besides, their rickety little organization only had four members, and she was the only one actually out there doing what an evil organization should be doing.
Without her, I Love Savory Tofu Pudding would’ve disbanded a long time ago.
Yi Ning tried her best to clear her mind and stop thinking about it.
After all, worrying alone wouldn’t change anything. She could just call Ji Ping later to get the full situation.
Yi Ning put her palms together and mentally prayed to every deity she could remember.
Please let me be okay.