Chapter 186
Inside the dark room with blackout curtains drawn.
The smell of blood mixed with a faint mustiness from an unknown source.
The floor was a complete mess, with clothes and lunchbox containers scattered around, entirely unorganized.
On the bed, there was a woman covered with a blanket.
Her unkempt hair was disheveled and tangled, and her unfocused pupils peeked through the strands.
"K... Kraush, is it really Kraush?"
As Kraush entered in a woman's form, Mary stammered and muttered.
Upon hearing the news of Kraush's arrival, she subconsciously opened the door, but once she let him in, he looked too different.
Kraush stared at her for a moment before opening his mouth to speak.
"Yes, since you visited my room, I decided to return the favor."
Mary's shoulders flinched.
The fact that Mary had visited Kraush's room was known only to him.
With that, she became convinced that the person in front of her was truly Kraush and bit her lips tightly.
The moment she let go of her lips, tears seemed like they would pour out uncontrollably.
"Mary."
Kraush placed the lunchbox Karandis had given him on the desk and approached her.
"What did Sigrid say to you?"
On the day she met Kraush, Mary had decided to leave Sigrid forever.
So, even if she had fought with Sigrid now, there shouldn't have been a reason for her to be this broken.
But Mary was visibly and utterly devastated.
That could only mean Sigrid had said something during the argument to completely break Mary.
Mary's eyes darted around, trembling.
A deep sense of sorrow could be seen in her gaze.
"......Even if I tell you, Kraush, you won't understand."
She doesn't know.
The moment Kraush heard that, he realized Sigrid had brought up a story from before the regression.
Mary didn't know that Kraush had regressed alongside them.
Thus, she thought there was no point in telling Kraush about it.
Kraush stared at Mary for a moment.
This was because Kraush knew something Mary did not.
Arthur, who exists in Mary's current memories, no longer exists in this world.
This was something neither Mary nor even Sigrid knew yet.
And this fact could become a card that would decisively break Mary.
For even if Sigrid had been destroyed in her heart, Arthur would still remain.
"Is that so."
Kraush replied calmly to Mary's words while pulling out a chair and sitting down.
Seeing this, Mary's eyes trembled violently.
"I-I'm sorry. Kraush came all the way here just for me, and I said something like that......."
Then, hurriedly showing her vulnerable side, she apologized.
Mary was extremely anxious, fearing that Kraush might hate her.
After all, Kraush was the only one who had ever supported her.
Kraush, who stood much higher in her heart than even Sigrid, was someone whose mood she was terrified of upsetting.
Mary had lived her entire life as a knight tasked with serving someone.
Such deeply ingrained characteristics had not disappeared even after the regression.
"No, everyone has things they can't talk about."
Kraush smiled kindly, as if telling her not to worry.
"If you don't want to say it, you don't have to. That's your choice, Mary. I only came here because I heard you had locked yourself in your room after arguing with Sigrid."
Words meant to reassure her, not to interrogate her, showing that he came purely out of concern.
Hearing those words, Mary suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotion.
Even confined to her room, Mary was very much aware of what was happening outside.
She knew all too well that Sigrid, given her personality, was probably pushing her deeper into the abyss.
It was something she had witnessed several times while standing by Sigrid's side.
Of course, she never imagined that Sigrid's bad habits would target her.
Nevertheless, Mary could easily deduce that her reputation had likely fallen to an unprecedented low.
Perhaps that's why Kraush's words of concern deeply touched her heart.
It felt as though he was the only one recognizing her on a completely abandoned remote island.
He, too, must know how poorly her reputation stood.
Yet, he had gone out of his way, even taking the form of a woman, to come and show his concern for her.
"Hic, sob."
At some point, tears began to fall from Mary's eyes.
Seeing this, Kraush pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket.
"Why are you crying?"
"S-sorry. The tears just came out suddenly......."
Already emotionally wrecked, Mary cried even more when Kraush wiped her tears.
She wept sorrowfully for several minutes.
When her tears finally subsided, Kraush handed her a glass of water.
As Mary gulped down the water, she finally felt a sense of relief.
At the same time, she felt incredibly embarrassed.
A grown adult crying like this.
Even during her time as an active knight, she had never cried like this.
With her face flushed, Mary lowered her head, and Kraush chuckled softly.
"Done crying?"
"Y-yes."
Mary, now timid, fidgeted with her feet as she answered.
She felt like hiding in a hole immediately.
"It seems you feel a bit better now."
Leaving those words, Kraush stood up as if planning to leave.
"W-wait a moment!"
At that moment, Mary hastily grabbed Kraush's sleeve.
She didn't want to let Kraush leave just yet.
Mary felt a bit of comfort while he was around.
If he left now, she would once again sink into unease and despair.
Kraush, held back by Mary, turned to look at her.
Mary flinched under his gaze and looked around nervously.
"I-I was wondering, could you stay a little longer? I have some things I want to say and talk about."
"Weren't those things you couldn't talk about?"
Mary hesitated at Kraush's thoughtful remark, biting her lips.
She felt overwhelmed by his warm heart.
To think that someone like her, deemed useless, was cared for so deeply.
It was a complete contrast to Sigrid, who had always treated her as a burden.
"It's okay! With Kraush, it's okay to talk!"
Wanting to reciprocate his kindness, Mary shouted in a loud voice.
Afraid her sincerity might not reach him, her voice grew louder.
Kraush, watching Mary, finally sat down beside her.
"Alright, then. If it will make you feel better, talk about whatever you want."
Kraush's kind words filled Mary's shattered heart once again.
Feeling she might struggle forever if she didn't seize this, Mary timidly began to speak.
In the story that began with Arthur's name replaced by A,
A always stood as her strongest ally, wielding his spear at the forefront, and he sometimes felt like a rival.
They had even vied fiercely for the top ranks, always pushing each other as rivals.
Perhaps because of that, there were times when Mary became envious of A.
Driven by the sole desire to surpass him, she wielded her spear even more fiercely.
But the gap between her and A gradually widened.
Each day became a desperate struggle to keep up with him, which she hated.
As a result, even Mary, blessed with the Heavenly Martial Body, made a grave mistake during World Erosion due to excessive training and overexertion.
At the moment when her life was on the brink of danger,
A appeared.
After saving her at the cost of being battered far more than herself, and collapsing afterward, Mary's heart was deeply shaken.
For the first time, she harbored feelings of love for the one she had always considered an ally and rival.
But A was Sigrid's lover.
While struggling to suppress her growing feelings for Arthur,
She decided to confront him to end her feelings.
To receive his rejection along with her honest confession.
However, for some reason, A suddenly demanded sparring.
During the sparring that began under the moonlit night,
Mary felt as if she was getting to know A on a deeper level.
A was strong.
But just as strong as he was, he had poured in countless efforts again and again.
By the time the sparring ended, Mary knelt before him.
Because she realized she could never defeat him.
A, catching his breath, spoke to Mary.
[Mary, I want to protect this world.]
It felt as if she was seeing his genuine heart for the first time.
[And I want to share that world with you.]
His next words sent tremors through Mary's heart.
At the moment she instinctively confessed her feelings in response instead of answering,
A smiled and accepted her confession.
Fortunately, Sigrid also accepted Mary becoming A's lover.
It was said to be thanks to A persuading Sigrid several times beforehand.
Feeling the depth of A's heart, Mary vowed to live the rest of her life for him.
But a few days ago,
Mary heard something shocking from Sigrid.
[Did you think Arthur truly liked you?]
With a sneer and contempt-filled eyes, Sigrid trampled on Mary.
[Arthur chose you solely because your talent was useful. You are the best as a meat shield!]
The Mary of the past would have outright denied those words.
She was the Empire's Spear, the Divine Spear, full of self-esteem.
But the current her was different.
She was someone whose heart had been long since dug out and left in shambles.
Her self-esteem was shattered long ago, and now she felt utterly isolated from the world, completely alone.
Betraying her loyalty to Sigrid and with Arthur's love now uncertain,
Sigrid's remarks became the final nail in the coffin for her.
[Do you think Arthur would like you as you are now? Without being the Divine Spear, you are utterly worthless! Just hole yourself up and spend the rest of your life waiting for Arthur while worshiping him! Do you think Arthur will even come looking for you?]
[No, no. Arthur, Arthur!]
As Mary screamed and cried out, Sigrid looked at her with an exhausted expression, having poured out all her emotions.
In Sigrid's pupils, Mary no longer reflected.
Instead, she turned her body away, leaving behind someone she deemed utterly worthless.
Someone so ruined that she was now useless anywhere.
When something loses its value, it must be discarded.
With that, Sigrid moved toward the door.
[Ha, truly useless trash. She couldn't even conceive the child of the Curse Bearer.]
With words that pierced Mary's heart, Sigrid opened the door.
[She should've just been executed back then.]
Watching Sigrid leave, Mary completely broke down that day.
She shut herself in her room and never came out again.
"It's all my fault... If I hadn't been useless, if I had tried harder, everything would've been fine."
Kraush, who listened to everything from Mary, silently remained quiet.
'She only said things that were completely true.'
Even from Kraush's perspective, Sigrid's words weren't wrong.
[ Get a hold of yourself before your face shows agreement. ]
Right then, Crimson Garden, seemingly outside the dormitory window, caught Kraush's vibe and spoke.
Finally snapping out of it, Kraush adjusted his expression.
"Don't put too much weight on the words of someone who sees people as tools."
Mary looked at Kraush with trembling eyes.
"What's important is you. The Mary Diana I've known wasn't such a weak person."
Kraush let out a light chuckle and gestured outside.
"How many out there, besides me, do you think could possibly match up to you?"
Mary's strength was at a level no one else could disparage.
In fact, if not for Kraush, hardly anyone at Rahelrn Academy could properly face Mary.
"This is Rahelrn Academy, where only the best gather. If someone like you, standing at the top, says you're useless, then there aren't many useful people in the world."
Kraush raised his hand and gently untangled Mary's disheveled hair.
Every time his hand touched her, Mary's body flinched.
"So stop blaming yourself."
Along with her loosened hair, Kraush slightly leaned forward.
Then, he rested his elbows on his knees, propping his chin with his hands, and smirked.
"Anyone who tries to bring you down, I'll beat them all up for you."
His grin was so captivating that, for a moment, even the memories of Sigrid were entirely erased.
At the same time, the tangled threads of Mary's heart unraveled all at once.
The person who unraveled those threads was none other than the one in front of her.
"So hurry up and come out."
Mary's tear-filled eyes began to redden once again.
"You're not someone who belongs in here."
Through her flowing tears, Kraush stood up before her.
"If it's truly difficult—"
Following Kraush, Mary lifted her head to directly face him.
The sunlight filtering through the curtains softly illuminated Kraush's face.
"Caw!"
At the sound of a crow coming from somewhere, the wind that blew from outside lifted the blackout curtain at that moment.
The bright sunlight that streamed in illuminated Kraush more brilliantly than ever.
It was so bright that it felt like starlight.
"Just follow me."
That star-like light shone even brighter than Arthur.
Crack—
And above Mary's head,
The sound of the final dial cracking echoed.