TN: Thank Nepper for the chapter.
TL/PR: Ruminas; ED: novicelily
Humans don’t drink blood.
Humans aren’t tough enough to survive a fall from a mountain without a scratch.
Humans can’t instantly heal their wounds.
Humans have uniform teeth, not sharp canines.
Humans.
“……”
Then what am I?
It took a long time to realize I wasn’t human after falling into this unfamiliar world.
Even while I wrestled with the thought, rumors spread.
The homeless and the dregs of society called the mysterious figure who killed criminals “the back alley monster.”
A monster, not a human?
I wanted to deny it, but I couldn’t.
Once I accepted I was a monster, I no longer hid when walking through the back alleys.
After all, monsters that eat humans are stronger than humans.
In time, I learned there was no one on these streets who could harm me.
Once I knew I was stronger, the things around me no longer scared me.
Fear was the first emotion I lost.
***
Wearing shabby clothes, I wandered aimlessly through the muddy streets.
It was raining
Stepping barefoot through the garbage and filth in the rain felt awful, crumbly, and slippery underfoot. I kept walking, suppressing the nausea that rose with every step.
-Swoosh.
Blood washed from my body, carried away by the rain. The blood on my hands, the blood around my mouth.
I wondered if my eyes were red from the blood, so I gathered rainwater to wash them. But no matter how much I rubbed, it wouldn’t come off.
My eyes must be naturally red.
Rain pooled in the sunken ground, forming puddles. In one of them, I saw my reflection.
Silver hair, and red eyes.
An appearance that stood out, even in this world where strange hair colors weren’t uncommon.
My name is Iria. Age unknown. Origin and past unknown.
I read my memories in the reflection.
An empty shell, with nothing left but a name. I was just an unfortunate human who ended up inside this hollow body.
What was my name in my past life?
“……”
I don’t know.
It was something I remembered clearly until recently. Now, when I try to recall it, my mind feels distant.
I couldn’t walk any further. I collapsed onto the wet ground.
I had been walking a whole day without sleep, wandering aimlessly through the back alley streets.
But I couldn’t find Riana. Maybe she wasn’t in the back alleys.
Maybe she’s avoiding me.
I don’t know anymore.
How to live, what I am.
Why did I end up here, or what does this world want from me?
The girl who taught me how to live has run away from me.
In the end, I’m left alone again, watching the world go by.
Everyone is desperate to live.
Like the homeless, surviving day by day on garbage, or the regular humans outside the Empire.
It’s so different from me now.
Even if I disappeared, time would still flow here. I can’t play any role in this unfolding world.
How should I put it?
I feel detached from this place.
When there were two of us, it was okay. But now, it’s just me.
“Ugh.”
Ironically, the only thing I feel now is hunger.
It’s been three days since the accident.
As a monster, I don’t feel hunger as often as humans do, but it’s been three days since blood last touched my lips.
Is this instinct?
I wanted to eat people. I needed to kill people and sink my teeth into a human’s neck.
At this point, I had to admit it, even if I didn’t want to.
I’m a monster.
I have no right to resent Riana for running away from me.
It’s only natural for a girl her age. After all, it was probably me who killed all those humans.
My memory was hazy, but Riana must have seen the whole thing.
The scene of the monster called Iria tearing apart living humans.
If anyone should apologize, it should be me.
I stood up, feeling the thirst for blood.
I didn’t want to kill humans. But at the same time, I wanted to. These conflicting emotions stirred inside me as I wandered off.
Again, no destination.
I’ll just walk until I find something.
Because I’m a monster who doesn’t know how to do anything else.
***
As I roamed the back alleys, I sank my teeth into the neck of a human who tried to harm me.
Maybe because of my appearance, attempts to attack me in these alleys happen more often than expected. Mostly, they’re sexual in nature.
Normally, I’d run. But knowing I was stronger, there was no reason to run anymore.
If this world runs with the survival of the fittest, I’m the predator, and that man plays the role of prey. It’s my role to eat, not his.
Biting a human’s neck and sucking blood felt better than I imagined.
The sweet taste filled my mouth. Just tasting it was good, but swallowing it?
It brought a powerful satisfaction that seemed to shatter my reason and flood my body.
To be honest, it felt so good, but it scared me. I might get addicted.
It was, without a doubt, the best feeling I’ve had since falling into this world.
The only problem is, the means to feel that sensation… is murder.
“Huh……”
I pulled my teeth out from his neck. Once again, blood was smeared all over my mouth.
I killed another person.
This time, it wasn’t an accident. It was a decision I made.
I’m not sure if it was rational. I was too hungry to think clearly.
Once my hunger was satisfied, a faint sense of reason returned to me.
I felt guilt flowing through my body.
Guilt coursed through my body.
It wasn’t guilt for him. He deserved to die.
It was guilt from the fact that I, who was human until recently, killed a human.
A monster that eats people roams the back alleys of the Central Empire.
And that monster is me.
Is this how I have to live from now on? If so, it’s a terrible life.
My blood-stained hands trembled. But even that sensation was soon washed away by the rain.
For a murderer, rainy weather isn’t so bad. It erases the traces we leave behind.
It would be nice if it could wash away the wounds carved into my heart, too.
But I guess that’s too much to ask of a few raindrops.
I don’t know.
Since falling into this strange world, I’ve learned there’s much more I don’t know than what I do.
But still, I decided to live on.
Even though I hate this life, I’m too afraid to die.
I will live in this world as a monster.
***
There is no space for monsters. Because the Central Empire was a city where humans lived.
But even monsters need sleep. Somewhere with a ceiling, away from the rain.
Is that too much to ask for?
Maybe this is how I pay for the lives I’ve taken.
In the end, I closed my eyes on the street, expecting nightmares tonight.
“Cough, cough! S-stop…!”
“You cheeky little brat! How dare you steal?!”
As I tried to sleep, a man’s angry voice and a woman’s cries interrupted my rest.
“Help, help me, please!”
“The bread you stole is worth a silver coin! If you can’t pay, you should sell your body, you filthy trash!”
The street, usually my shelter, was too loud now.
Curious, I got up and followed the voices.
-Thump thump.
I moved toward the commotion.
A pink-haired girl was caught by a large man, screaming.
Looking closely, it was Riana.
She had lived in these back alleys long before I did. She grew up here, surviving through theft.
It was the only way for a girl with no home and no future.
“……”
It seems this world isn’t cruel just to monsters.
I found the person I’d been searching for. If we met again, I would have so much to say to her.
But should I go?
I hesitated. But knowing I’d regret it if I lost her again, I stepped forward.
As I approached, they noticed me. Both of their gazes turned toward me.
Riana’s expression changed the instant she saw me.
Her pupils widened, and she blinked as if she couldn’t believe her eyes.
Slowly, she opened her mouth.
One word, spoken through trembling lips.
“I… Iria? Why are you here……”
“Who are you?”
The reunion with Riana was far from pleasant.